It hurts to get that part out, but I can compromise if it’s what’s best for her. I might be leaving next September, but that’s still so much time…
“At least then Mom and Silas could help if things get dicey.”
Harper’s brow furrows. For a second—just a second—she looks young. Her actual age.
Then the armor slams back into place.
“I’m not going to take advantage of Helen like Dadis,” she snaps, two red spots appearing high on her cheeks. “She’s a really nice lady. I like her a lot.”
Her voice softens on that last part, and it fucking destroys me. Mom’s actually been breaking through that hard shell of hers. Why can’t Harper see how much she needs someone like Mom in her life?
“I’ll miss her,” Harper admits.
Will you miss anyone else?
“Harper.” Her name comes out rough. Raw. If I don’t say it now, I never will. And she needs to understand. “Don’t you get it? You’re stunning. Inside and out. You’re the most fascinating, fun, sharp, funny, intelligent person I’ve ever met.”
And so dead sexy, I try hard not to think about it because it’s inevitably followed by the hard limit:stepsister.
She rolls her eyes. “Shut up. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
“I’m not.” I hold her gaze, willing her to see the truth. To see what’s standing right in front of her. “I’m not bullshitting. Why don’t you get how stunning you are?”
She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You’re the one who doesn’t get it. I’m a disaster in the middle of an identity crisis!”
The space between us feels too big and too small all at once. I move closer and sit beside her on the bed. Close enough that I can see the flecks of gold in her eyes and hear the way her breathing has gone shallow.
Tonight, I won’t be a coward.
“I think you’re perfect,” I say quietly. “Just as you are. Right here. Right now.”
My hand lifts to her face like it’s being pulled by gravity. Her skin is soft under my palm. Warm.Real.
“That’s just because you don’t know me very well,” she whispers.
Then her arms slide up my chest and around my neck.
The world tilts.
She’s climbing into my lap, pushing me backward, and I’m falling. We’re both falling back onto her bed.
I’m so stunned by the feel of her suddenly in my arms—and howamazingher gorgeous body feels, touching so much of my body?—
There’s no checking. No counting. No breathing pattern.
Just her.
All my carefully maintained systems—gone. Every ritual and pattern and protective measure I use to keep the world in order just... evaporates.
She’s straddling me.
All that dangerous energy focused entirely on me, and?—
I should be panicking. My brain should be screaming about loss of control, about breaking rules, about the fact that I haven’t checked on Mom yet tonight, haven’t verified all the locks, haven’t?—
But Harper’s straddling me, and I don’t care about any of it.
For the first time in years, my brain goes completely, blissfully quiet.