“You’re just saying that because you feel guilty?—”
“I’m saying it because it’s true.” And suddenly I’m certain. Suddenly, everything makes sense. “These people aren’t my family. You are.”
“Harper—”
“No, listen to me.” I’m leaning forward now, close to the screen, willing him to hear me. “I can get a bus ticket to Nacogdoches. It’s only a hundred bucks. I’ve been thinking about it and?—”
His entire demeanor changes. The defeat in his shoulders straightens into hope. “Wait—you really thought about this?”
“Yeah, I?—”
“When?” Watching hope come back into his eyes is everything. If I can just keep him holding on alittlelonger.
“I don’t know, I just—I saw the bus schedules, and I tried once already, but Silas stopped me.” Why does it feel like I’m trying so hard to justify myself?Because you’re failing him.“I just need to think it out this time, but I can get back to you. IknowI can.”
But then his face breaks into the first real smile I’ve seen in a week, and suddenly that squirmy feeling disappears.
“Fuck, Harper.” His voice goes rough. “I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to be that guy who begs you to come back when you finally got out. But—” He swallows hard. “I don’t think I can survive much longer here without you. I know that’s fucked up to say, but it’s true.”
And there it is. The truth I’ve been feeling in my bones but was too scared to admit.
All I can do is nod.
“So you’re really coming back?” He’s leaning forward now, too, close to his screen. “You’re really—oh, thank god. When?” he asks again.
His face is so expectant.
“I need to figure out how to get the money first.” My mind is already spinning. “Maybe I could get a job, or babysit for some of Helen’s friends?—”
“How long would that take?”
“I don’t know, maybe a few weeks?—”
His face falls. “Weeks?”
And I see it then—really see it. How thin he’s gotten. How the bones in his wrists look too prominent. How he’s barely holding on.
“Do you think there’s any other way you could get the money? Like, doesn’t your stepmom keep her pursejust… around? I bet you could lift what you need, and she wouldn’t even notice.”
I swallow hard.
“But I mean, I don’t want you to do anything that might get you in trouble.” He pulls back, his face in shadows. “Just if you think you could do it safely... And Silas fuckingowesyou, ya know?”
Again, all I can do is nod. He’s not wrong.
“And youwantto come back? This isn’t—you’re not just doing this because you feel sorry for me?”
“No.” The word comes out certain. Strong. “You’re my family. I can’t stand being here without you. Because I—” My throat tightens.
His smile breaks open like sunrise. “I love you too, beautiful. Always have.” He reaches toward the screen like he could touch me through it. “Soon as you get here, we’ll go to the courthouse. Make it official. Then no one can separate us again.”
“Yeah.” I force a smile, ignoring the lead churning in my guts. But I feel better when I agree and reassure him. “No one can separate us then.”
“Be careful, okay?” His voice goes soft. “And text me when you get the money. I’ll meet you at the bus station.”
“Okay.”
“I’m so fucking hungry if I’m being honest,” he admits, and the vulnerability in his voice makes my chest ache. “That candy bar you gave me was the last real thing I had to eat.”