“Yeah... I guess it never really came up.”
“Never came up?” She throws her hands up. “What the fuck is going on with this family? How does my new stepmom having cancer not come up? Is she okay? Caleb,is she okay?”
God, I hate telling her this. Hate dragging her into the weight of it. “She’s five years in remission.”
“Okay, so that’s good, right?” Harper sounds freaked out but relieved, at least before prodding anxiously, “Right?”
I nod, but my throat’s tight. “Yeah, it’s good. We didn’t know if she would make it at the time. We didn’t catch it until late stage two, almost three. Lung cancer.”
“But Helen doesn’t smoke. Did she smoke?”
“Never lit up once in her life. It just... happens like that sometimes.”
“That’s not fucking fair.”
“Since when is life fair?” The bitterness in my voice is sharp enough to cut.
“Fuck. That sucks.” Harper’s silent for a long moment before demanding, “But she got better?”
“Yeah. It was a total shit time, but she got better. My father left her and withdrew all his financial support.”
I have to force the words out. Harper deserves to know. If we’re going to be any sort ofrealfamily to her. Even if she’s gone… “So Mom was getting chemo and radiation and had to pick up a second job. I was twelve, and instead of being helpful, I was just more angry than ever.”
I wince at the memory. “God, I was such a little shit.”
“I literally can’t even imagine that,” Harper says gently. “Anyway, you were just a little kid.”
I shrug like it doesn’t still eat at me. “It’s all kind of blurry now. I used to steal a lot. Stupid shit—not anything valuable. Like rocks from the science lab. Candy bars from stores. The answer key to a test once.”
“What?”
I chuckle. “I got busted for that. They wanted to kick me out of school, but Mom went down there and bawled their asses out. Pulled off her skull cap to show her bald head from chemo and told them I was just having a really hard time at home.”
My vision blurs. I blink hard. Swallow. “Can you fucking believe that? She was fighting lung cancer, and all she could think about was what a hard timeIwas having.”
For a minute, I can’t talk. My throat’s too tight. My chest, too constricted.
“That was the turning point, I guess.” The words come out rough. “I decided I had tobe better. For her. Since Dad was gone and she didn’t have anybody else. So I went home, opened a notebook, and started making a list of rules I was going to follow. No matter what. I would be a good son.”
I started with ten rules. Simple ones:
1. Don’t steal
2. Don’t lie to Mom
3. Get good grades
4. Clean your room
5. Do your homework
6. Be polite
7. Don’t disappoint Mom
8. Help around the house
9. Don’t cause problems