We say hi to all our friends at the table, gushing over how great everyone looks. Kalani and Emmett sit across from us, and I give them a polite wave.
“Hey, you guys look great,” I address them over the centerpiece, secretly glad that it partially obstructs my view of them.
“You guys too,” Emmett says. “Hey, Emi. Hey, Daphne.”
Daphne repeats the greeting. Emi crosses her arms and stubbornly lifts her chin in the air, but then Daphne elbows her and Emi spits out, “Hi.”
It’s ironic to think about how everything started with Kalani claiming if I didn’t have a prom date I’d awkwardly fifth wheel them and throw off their numbers or whatever it is she said, and now here we are, at prom, not on great speaking terms, and I’mstilldateless.
I never cared if I had a date to prom or not, and clearly Emi and Daphne, maybe even Emmett, didn’t either. None of our other friends at the table seem to mind, and Carson beside me even leans over and tells me I look hot in front of his date whom I don’t think he’s even said two words to before tonight.
All I wanted was to have fun with my friends before we all go our separate ways, and now I’ve essentially lost two of them anyway. Still, I’m going to make the most of tonight.
We listen to the speeches from our principal and vice-principals, and then the DJ starts up at a slightly lower volume as food is served in courses. Everyone makes conversation at the table, and though it’s kind of awkward, no one brings up the elephant in the room, and I’m grateful for that. It’s mostly talk about who they think will win prom queen, since apparently, it’s a tight race between Kalani and Yasmina. Considering it’s all she’s been talking about for weeks, Kalani seems pretty somber about it all—her smile doesn’t even reach her eyes when everyone reassures her that they voted for her and hope she wins. Despite not talking, I still voted for Kalani yesterday. It means a lot to her, and she’s clearly very unhappy right now. If winning will make her happy, then I hope she does. I don’t want to hold a grudge toward her, so I occasionally make small talk with Kalani and ask how Maleah is doing. Daphne tries as well, but Emi flat-out refuses to speak to Kalani at all.
After all the courses are served and the DJ turns up the music, we head to the dance floor. I dance with Emi and Daphne, as well as with Carson and Vic and our other friends, and by the end my stomach is in stitches from laughing so much. I even dance with Arthur, who’s in a different suit than the slightly large one he wore on our date, and he beams from ear to ear as he tells me he’s here with Monique as his date.
Prom isn’t everything I imagined it to be, but though I don’t have a date and there’s an awkward tension in the air, I have a blast anyway. I even clap for Kalani when she’s announced prom queen. Her eyes find mine in the crowd when she’s being crowned on the makeshift stage, and her smile falters the tiniest bit before brightening. I smile for her nonetheless even though I’m sad I can’t join in the genuine excitement for my friend like I would have before everything happened. This kind of stuff means a lot to her, and I hope it’s everything she imagined it would be.
Around 11:00 p.m., I check my phone and see a text from Jay.
I’m here. Come outside.
Jay’s actually here?
My text back to him is teasing.
You said thirty minutes about four hours ago. Did you get lost?
His reply is instant.
Quit being annoying and come outside.
So demanding. So irritating. So utterly irresistible.
“Hey,” Emi greets me, sweaty from dancing, with an equally sweaty Daphne in tow. “We’re being summoned outside. Grab all your things, we’re not coming back in.”
I stuff my phone in my clutch and pull the little chain out so I can wear it like a purse, leaving my hands free to hug everyone scattered on the dance floor goodbye. When I get to Kalani, we stand in front of each other, silently assessing and considering our words.
“Um, I guess I’ll see you on Monday at grad?” I start tentatively, not sure what else can be said.
She shifts uncomfortably and doesn’t meet my eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Right. Okay, um . . . bye.”
“Wait, Carina,” she calls, playing with the sparkly prom queen sash nervously before dropping her hands. “I just want to say I’m sorry for everything that’s happened. I felt bad because my life is falling apart, and I just wanted someone else to feel bad like I do. It was wrong. I know it’s hard to believe, but I really am sorry.”
I can acknowledge that it takes a big person to admit fault and own up to their mistakes, and I appreciate that she’s apologizing to me, but it doesn’t change what happened. I’m sad. Ithurtsto lose your best friend, the person I thought knew me better than anyone. But maybe somewhere along the line, we stopped being as good of friends as I thought we were.
“I know you’re sorry,” I say finally. “I am too. But it doesn’t change everything that happened.” There’s too much damage done to properly reconcile.
“Carina!” Emi calls from the exit of the hall. “Come on!”
“I’ve got to go,” I tell Kalani, slowly backing away. “Congratulations on winning prom queen, and I hope you have a good summer.”
“Yeah, you too.”
And with that, I walk away from my best friend of ten years, feeling like complete strangers, but at the same time, being at peace with it.