It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say it. Instead, I say, “I miss it. I miss girl time.”
Emi gives me a small, sad smile. “Me too.”
Maybe Emi gets it. Maybe I should say something. This could be my chance. We’re alone and reminiscing, and now is when I can say that we should have more days like this, just me and her and Kalani hanging out and goofing off, at least before we start school in September.
Just as I take a breath to gather the courage, a deep voice calls out, “Oakwoods?”
I turn to find Caleb standing at Jay’s car with a bag full of drinks dangling from his hands. “What are you doing here?”
Emi and I shut our car doors and close the distance between us and Caleb. He gives us a once-over.
“I’m here for Jay,” I say with as much confidence as I can. I brace myself for him to tell me off, to tell me Jay doesn’t want to talk to me after I was so rude to him, to tell me I wasn’t invited here, to call mePukey McBarffaceor some other mean name going around about me.
But he doesn’t.
Caleb raises an eyebrow and says, “Well, come on then. At least you’re dressed appropriately this time.” He pauses and eyes Emi, who’s wearing designer black leather shorts, a black bodysuit with at least six chunky silver necklaces of varying lengths, and ankle-high platform boots. “Or at least one of you is. What is it with you Oakwoods kids? Only one of you at a time is allowed to wear a swimsuit or something?”
“Yup, they make us sign a contract and everything.” Emi grins, lightly shoving Caleb as we walk through the trail to the opening. “We’re also not allowed to stir our drinks counterclockwise, talk to caterpillars, or wear the color yellow on days containing the letter E.”
Caleb rolls his eyes, but his lips pull up at the corner as we exit the tree line. Jasmine and Maddie are sitting on a log talking to Ralph, who, surprise surprise, is wearing an unbuttoned shirt with a pattern straight from a 1980s bowling alley carpet. However, the look suits him. Maybe his weird pattern choices are growing on me, because the Carina from a few weeks ago would’ve wished he’d throw that shirt over the cliff and never retrieve it.
There are other people scattered around the area, and a few more down below splashing around in the water. Some people I recognize, others I don’t, but I’m not focused on anyone else right now. I’m focused on Jay, who has his back to me, laughing with some other people I’ve never seen before. He’s wearing baby-pink swim shorts, and if I weren’t so determined right now, I’d want to laugh at that fact. Of course he’s wearing pink swim shorts.
“Hey, Carina! Emi!” Ralph calls, noticing our arrival. He stands and waves at us, and now everyone’s glancing our way. Even Jay, whose eyes are trained directly on me, his stare so intense it would normally make me second-guess my decision to come here, but not today. Today, I’m here on a mission, and I’m not leaving until Jay and I are friends again.
Emi must notice the determined look on my face because she says, “We’ll be over there,” grabs Caleb by his wrist, and pulls him toward Ralph, Jasmine, and Maddie.
I stand there, still staring at Jay, the breeze rustling my hair and the heat kissing my skin. I don’t even notice if people are pointing or laughing or whispering about me. If Jay’s heard the rumors and seen the video and memes, then others from his school must have too. But I don’t care. I’m too busy being pissed off at Jay, at myself, at us not being on speaking terms.
With our eyes locked, what feels like forever passes before Jay breathes deeply and slowly strides over to me with all the confidence, all the self-assuredness he’s always possessed. I don’t look away from him the entire time as he makes his agonizingly slow way toward me, not wanting to lose our little staring contest.
When he’s standing directly in front of me, I have no words. The sheer size of him is intimidating, but paired with his undeniable good looks, the hard line of his mouth, his distractingly shirtless body, and the knowledge that he’s pissed at me, everything I came here to say flies out of my head.
He’s the first to break the silence. “What are you doing here?”
I clear my throat, swallowing the nerves. “You were ignoring me. So I came to you.”
“Why aren’t you at work?” he asks.
“Called in sick. Why aren’t you coaching?”
“Field maintenance. They canceled everyone’s practices.”
“Hmm.”
We say nothing else, just stand there as people laugh and play music and jump off the cliff around us.
“Well, great talk,” Jay huffs, stepping back from me. “I guess I’ll see you around—”
“Wait, Jay!” I rush forward to make up for the distance he’s put between us.
When he stops and gives me his full attention again, I continue. “I’m sorry for accusing you of being the one to start the rumors. That wasn’t right of me, but in my defense I was having a shitty day and you were the only person besides my best friends who knew about it. Rumors are usually spread from some kind of truth, so people had to have heard it from somewhere.”
He opens his mouth, and I already know what’s coming, so I interrupt him. “I know, I know. That’s a shitty apology. But the truth is I know it wasn’t you. You’ve helped me out more times than I can count,andyou came straight to me to see if I was okay when everything went to shit. Kalani didn’t even do that, and neither did Emmett.”
He crosses his arms against his broad chest, a sneer on his face. “Right. Your best friend and her boyfriend that you’re in love with.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “I’m not in love with Emmett.”