“Nice to meet you,” I say as I recover, dropping my phone in my lap to shake her hand. I shoot Arthur awhat the helllook, and he responds with an encouraging smile.
Barbara straightens her place settings, and I realize why Arthur ordered so much food. “I’ve heard so much about you, Carina, but why don’t you tell me about yourself?”
Okay, now this reallyisthe worst date I’ve ever been on. What I’d give to be back at Murphey’s with Jay’s insults. That date was ten times better than sitting here in front of Arthur and his mom, who are both staring at me from the other side of the table like I’m at an interview. Maybe I am.
“Um . . . I’m seventeen?” I really don’t know what she wants from me. Her stare is even more unnerving than Arthur’s. She’s eyeing me like a lion eyes a steak dangling in front of its face.
She nods. “Yes. What else? How are your grades? Have you gotten into university? Do you have any extracurriculars? What’s your five-year plan?”
I wasn’t aware I needed to bring my résumé for a first date.
“I’m not entirely sure what my five-year plan is,” I say hesitantly. That earns me a frown.
“We can’t have that,” Barbara declares. I look at Arthur for help, but he’s still smiling at me, content with letting his mother grill me. She continues, “When I was your age, I . . .”
I tune her out as she launches into a story about knowing she wanted to get into real estate, nodding along like I’m paying attention. Pure shock and confusion have kept me in my seat so far, but it’s time to call for help.
Since my phone is still in my lap, without taking my eyes off Barbara, I unlock it and text Emi our code phrase while nodding along to whatever Barbara’s saying.
My phone vibrates.Yes! I’m saved!But it’s not a phone call. It’s a text. From Jay. I sneak a glance at it.
Okay, I’m intrigued. Why do you keep feeling the need to update me on your possum’s hair status?
Dammit!
Barbara has paused her story to harass a waiter for a new set of utensils, so I can’t resist sending him back a quick text.
OMG, what’s the point of having a code word if I keep sending it to you instead of Emi?
He replies immediately.
Ah, it’s that bad, huh? Did he find out about your obsessive panty to outfit matching?
I stifle a laugh and text back.
Worse! His MOM is here.
Barbara finally dismisses the waiter, so her attention is back on me. “So, Carina, where was I? Oh, right. Arthur received early acceptance to the University of Toronto. I hope you haven’t applied to a school far from there because distance really puts a strain on a relationship.”
Wow, they’re really putting a lot of stock in this “relationship” working out past this first date, which I can guarantee it’snot.
I’m still so shocked by what’s going on here I can’t help but to answer her questions instead of setting the record straight. “No, I’m not going far. I was accepted to Toronto Metropolitan University for business.”
Jay takes longer to reply this time, but then my phone vibrates, and I glance down to check it.
Guess I’m not looking so bad right now, am I? Wish you stuck around for apps?
This time I actually do laugh out loud, but I bite down quickly when Arthur and his mom send me a questioning look. I have no idea what they were saying, but obviously it didn’t warrant a laugh.
I’m about to text Jay back but then stop myself when I realize what I’m doing. We’re notfriends. Why am I texting him?
“Please excuse me for a moment,” I say, standing up and straightening out my skirt.
Barbara gasps. “Carina!Why are you dressed like that?” I glance down at my jean skirt and crop top. It’s a cute outfit, but I guess compared to them, I’m way too casually dressed. But in my defense, they’re the ones dressed too fancy for a Mexican restaurant. I didn’t know I was supposed to dress like this was our engagement dinner.
Before I can point out that I’m actually dressed the appropriate amount of fancy for our current surroundings, and that if anything, evenI’mdressed too fancy for La Mesa, Barbara turns to Arthur and continues.
“Arthur,” she scolds, “you let her dress like a slut? You can’t have a girlfriend who thinks dressing like this is okay!”