One
I really hate having to pretend I’m not in love with my best friend’s boyfriend, but here I am, trapped in a car with Kalani and Emmett, pretending I don’t care that they’re making kissy faces at each other. It wouldn’t be so bad if I weren’t driving, or if Kalani were riding shotgun, but no, they’re both in the back practically on top of each other while I drive them around like an unpaid chauffeur instead of their friend.
We could’ve all fit in one car, but Emi’s father just bought her a two-seater Corvette, so she’s driving with her girlfriend, Daphne, for the almost hour-long drive to wherever we’re going. That leaves me stuck here, following behind her bright-yellow convertible, mentally cursing Emi for coming up with this surprise Friday night plan that’s left me a perfectly unobstructed view of Kalani and Emmett’s sickening cuteness in my rearview mirror.
Kalani snuggles her face into Emmett’s neck as she laughs at something he said, and my teeth grind together. I love Kalani—she’s been my best friend for almost ten years, ever since she moved here from Hawaii in the second grade—and for that reason I try not to be bitter, try not to imaginemyface snuggling into Emmett’s neck, try not to imaginemylaughter responding to stupid inside jokes.
I must make a face visible in the rearview mirror that says I’m going to puke because Emmett clears his throat and turns the full power of his magnetic gaze toward me. It burns right through to my soul.
“Carina, I saw your latest project in the art room. It’s coming along great.”
He noticed my work?Don’t blush, don’t blush.I focus on the trees blurring past us on the open back road.
“You think so? Thanks. Clay isn’t really my favorite medium, but that’s the assignment.”
“No, it’s great! You really captured the emotions on the model’s face,” he says.
My name wasn’t on the piece, and it was on the counter with everyone else’s. That means he must’ve asked which one was mine.Oh my God.
My crush on Emmett started in the ninth grade when I was carrying a bunch of art supplies to class. I dropped everything, and paint splattered all over my shirt. I was petrified and doing a poor job of holding back tears when Emmett showed up, practically surrounded by glowing white lights and a church hymn, as if an angel itself had materialized in front of me. Not only did he help me to my feet, scold the people around us for gawking and laughing, and help me pick up all the materials, but he also gave me his sweater. Like right off his back. That’s Emmett for you: he’s just sogood. He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.
As if that wasn’t enough to make me fall in love, I discovered shortly after that he was into art too, and we became fast friends. I’mstillas smitten as I was the first time I met him, and it’s been more than three years. It doesn’t help that he’s gorgeous with his curly chestnut hair and eyes so blue I could swim in them. Eyes that are currently trained on me, waiting patiently for me to respond.
I’m spared having to think up a coherent response when Kalani shoves her phone screen toward Emmett.
“Guys, it’s couples’ night at Murphey’s tomorrow! Free appetizers for couples and trivia night! We have to go—ohhhh.” She trails off as she notices me in the driver’s seat, a neon sign pointing at me declaringI’m Single!“Never mind,” she huffs. “Guess we can’t bring a single person.”
“Don’t say that!” Emmett reprimands as I shrink into my seat. “I’m sure they’ll make an exception. You can be on our team, Carina.”
“No, it’s okay, you guys have fun,” I tell them, trying not to think about how Saturday night used to beournight. Mine, Emi’s, and Kalani’s. We also did stuff together all the time during the week, but Saturday night was the dedicated girls’ night.
Things mostly stayed the same when Kalani and Emmett started dating at the beginning of this year; we would still hang out just us girls and laugh and gossip and stuff our faces. Emmett tagged along every once in a while, which was super awkward for me due to the whole I’m-in-love-with-him thing, but it was easier for me to ignore since it wasn’t often, and I always had Emi. But ever since Emi and Daphne became official about a month ago, our girls’ nights havealwaysincluded their partners, and now my single status is even more blatantly obvious, something that Kalani justlovespointing out.
“Come on, Carina, we need you!” Emmett says earnestly, and I internally scream at my heart not to get the wrong idea, at my pulse toslow the heck down, because he doesn’t mean it likethat.
When Emmett and Kalani started dating nine months ago, it devastated me. I was never discreet about my crush on him around my friends, so when mybest friendcame over and gushed about how amazing her date with Emmett was—a date she hadn’t even bothered telling me and Emi about—I was stunned. But Kalani’s always been the type to go on a few dates with someone and get bored, so I said nothing, figuring she’d tire of him on her own and I wouldn’t look like a jealous friend. Clearly,thatdidn’t work, so now I have to silently wallow in my misery, repeatingI don’t like him, I don’t like himin my head while my heart laughs and says,Yeah, right!
In the beginning, I compared myself to Kalani all the time. She has long, flowing dark hair, and mine is boring brown with some added lowlights to spruce it up. Her eyes are dark and sultry and bottomless, and mine are plain hazel. She’s Samoan, tan, curvy, and gorgeous, while even with the help of my Italian genes, I can go a few rounds with a self-tanner and still look pasty. I used to wish I looked more like her so Emmett would finally see me the way I wanted him to, but then I realized that made me a terrible person.
I don’t want to steal him from Kalani, and I truly wish them the best and hope they’re happy, but it stings when we’re all together because my breath still quickens and my pulse still races whenever I see him—I can’t help it, it’s my body’s natural response. I try to ignore it. I try not to think about how I wish it were me instead of Kalani: me he stares at when I’m not looking, me he wraps his arm around. But it’s not, and I tell myself that’s okay, I’m happy for them.
“I don’t always have to tag along with the four of you,” I say, even though my stomach twists at the thought of them all hanging out while I’m home alone, wondering if they’re having fun.
“We can find something else to do tomorrow night,” Emmett suggests, sending me an encouraging smile in the mirror while Kalani pouts.
He’s always so thoughtful, so considerate of other people’s feelings.I shake my head to clear it. I need to stop going off on Emmett tangents!
“Why don’t you find someone to bring along, Carina?” Kalani suggests as she places her hand on Emmett’s arm. Lovingly. Possessively. “It would be a fun date!”
“I don’t think—”
“Hey, my friend Wyatt has asked me about you before.” Emmett sits up straighter. “I can set you two up.”
I have no idea who Wyatt is and have zero interest in dating him. No one has ever made me feel the way Emmett does, and it wouldn’t be fair to someone else to pretend to like them in hopes it might work out.
“No thanks, Emmett. I’ve told you guys before, I’m happy being single.” And I am, really. The only guy who would make me happier is Emmett, and obviously he’s off-limits, so I’m perfectly content the way I am.
Kalani leans forward. “You know, prom is coming up in just over a month.”