I don’t have to run or hide anymore.
The woman I saw earlier tonight is now riding behind a Skull. She throws up a peace sign as they pass, sliding in front of us to lead the way.
My mind drifts to the one and only time I rode behind Rage. My stomach does a little flip, and my brain scolds it. Not the time. I force my focus back to the present. “How did you find me?”
“The phone.”
“Oh yeah.”
“We were a little worried when he took you to his house. We weren’t expecting him to make you stay with him. We thought he might go through your shit and find it.”
This makes me laugh. “I wasn’t anticipating any of that either, but I knew he was too lazy to go through my stuff. My brother’s ego would never let him believe that I’d betray him.”
“If you had the phone, why didn’t you try to get in touch with Carson? Did you not have a chance?”
I turn away from him. “Honestly, I forgot I even had it.” A lump lodges in my throat.
The time at my brother’s took me out of the real world and thrust me right back into their lunacy. It took everything in me just to function. I felt like a child again, looking for any moment of peace I could find. Be that cooking or cleaning.
That’s why I spent the evenings peacefully sewing the two quilts. I run my hand over the squares of soft material cut from Mila’s little clothes. It was the only thing that got me through. I think back to a conversation I had with Rage about them. He told me sending them to her had been a waste of time because Mila never got to wear them. It wasn’t a waste of time. Those clothes saved my sanity. They kept me grounded … connected.
My mom might have hated the sound of the sewing machine, but I loved it. It was like my grandmother was sitting beside me every night, guiding my hands while whispering to remain steady. For my Mila.
Shivers begin to wrack my body. “I’m … I’m not sure what’s happening,” I say, embarrassed that I can’t seem to control myself. When my fear rises, I begin to sob. Something is wrong with me.
“It’s the adrenaline. Your nervous system is regulating,” he tells me calmly. Big Dan pulls over and brushes his hand over the side of my face. “This will pass.”
He begins moving things around in my car, and before I register what’s happening, we’re on the road again. But now I’m in the back seat, curled against the woman with long silver and black hair. Her clothes smell of smoke, but the even beat of her heart along with the gentle rocking of the car begins to calm me.
“What I wouldn’t have given to have a mother like you,” I tell her, even though she’s a complete stranger. I guess I just want her to know how much this means to me.
She trails her fingers over my scalp, and it feels so good. My eyelids begin to grow heavy, but before I fall asleep, her breath brushes over my ear and she whispers, “You are the mother now.”
I don’t have the energy to dwell on her words, but I feel them embedding themselves in my heart.
I’m the mother now.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rage
Everyone had a great time at the concert. Carver was a bit restless and on high alert. He didn’t stray from Mila’s side all evening, and that’s not like him.
Carson and Cole let loose and had a great time, so I haven’t been too concerned. But I sense something is happening behind the scenes. I’m not blind to the subtle looks they’ve been giving each other all night. It stirs my gut and raises the hair on the back of my neck.
After we get home and I get Mila tucked in her bed, I walk out to my living room to find all of my officers.
“What’s going on?” I ask Wizzard as he types on his computer.
“Just watch. I’m sharing my screen.” He points to the television.
Everyone turns their attention to the news broadcast. “Authorities are attributing the explosion to the club’s ties to the cartel.”
My mouth falls open as I watch our decoy location burn to the ground.
“That fucking thing isn’t connected to us, is it?” Cowboy asks.
“No,” Wizzard and I say in unison.