You know, I always pictured myself living alone for the rest of my life. The men my mother brought home turned me right off to the idea of ever living with one willingly. I wouldn’t say I’m a man hater. Mr. Johnson helped with that. He showed me that I really shouldn’t lump all men into one category. After meeting him, I started listening to my intuition again.
I’ve not mastered it yet. Most men start out on the bad guy side and then, after time, if proven, I might move them over to the good side. I know it’s not fair, but I was deceived one too many times when I was younger.
When the water shuts off, my heart begins to race. I take a few deep breaths trying to slow it down before he comes out.
His footsteps are quiet as he moves around the room. A few minutes later, he’s sliding into bed.
It takes everything in me not to run.
Just breathe. I can do this.
I don’t really know why I want to do this, but I do. More than anything, I want to be right about him.
“Serenity,” he says quietly, as if he’s testing to see if I’m awake.
My heart falls fast, but I stay where I’m at.
“Serenity, I know you’re awake.”
Still, I don’t move. I don’t even breathe.
I feel the bed shift as he stands. When the door clicks shut, I don’t have to turn around to know he’s gone. I feel it.
Slowly, I sit up. He took his pillow and blanket with him. Why did he leave? Was I snoring?
Of course I wasn’t snoring. I wasn’t even asleep.
Curiosity gets the best of me, and I go in search of him.
His pillow and blanket are tossed on the bed in the guest room, but he’s not here. As I turn around to leave the room, I bump right into the solid wall of his bare chest.
“Oh!” I squeak.
He covers my mouth and closes the door behind us. “Shh, you’ll wake Mila,” he scolds gently, slowly removing his hand from my mouth. “What are you doing in here?”
“What areyoudoing in here?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest.
“You were scared, so I decided to sleep in here.”
My first reaction is to deny it, but I’m confused. “But it was your idea to sleep in the same room. For Mila, remember?”
“I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the reason for you to lie awake all night afraid.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I know what that feels like. Like you said, we’ll keep our stuff in one room but sleep separate.”
His words ruminate in my mind as he stares down at me with that ever-present scowl on his face. Suddenly, I have a vision of a little boy sitting in front of a television. I shake my head, clearing it.
“Please come back,” I whisper, dropping my eyes to the floor. “This is me facing my fear head-on.”
“You’re sure?” he asks.
“I’m … I’m sure.”
He steps aside so I can slip by him.
Peanut’s eyebrows bounce up and down when I pass him in the hall, but he doesn’t lift his head. I stop for a second to pat him. “We humans are a little nuts, huh boy?”
He sighs in agreement, making me chuckle. “Goodnight, buddy.”
I hurry back to bed, and a few seconds later, the bed dips. This time, I remember to breathe.