My gaze roams over the room. I didn’t notice anything else the last time I was here. The only thing I really saw was the crib and the little girl in it. There’s mold growing on a pile of towels in the corner, and there is a layer of dust on every surface in the room.
Rage picks up an empty bottle from the crib. “How long do you think this has been here?” He holds it to the light, revealing a crusty yellow substance in the bottom.
His eyes catch on a small television sitting in the corner of the room on a dresser. He walks over and turns it on.The Little Mermaidbegins to play. My heart stops.
He shakes his head. His fingers rifle over the VHS tapes scattered beside the television and he chuckles quietly to himself. “It looks like she gave her the movies I sent,” he says, then drops his head back and stares at the ceiling. “All of these characters have been Mila’s babysitters.”
I’d like to say something that would make him feel better, but we both know he’s right. I walk over and begin looking through them too.
“Some of these are mine from when I was a kid,” he says sadly, watching as I read the titles.
“The television was the best babysitter I ever had,” I tell him, forcing all the ones who weren’t out of my mind.
Rage takes the tape I’m holding out of my hand and sets it gently on the dresser. He’s still for a moment before he reaches out and pulls me close, hugging me.
I’m not sure what to do, so I stand awkwardly with my arms hanging at my side. “I’m … I’m okay,” I tell him.
“This isn’t just for you,” he admits quietly.
Oh …
He continues to hug me tight, so I slowly lift my arms and hug him back. His deepens in response. I don’t know how long we hold each other because I get lost in thoughts of Mila being here all alone.
I must make some kind of noise because Rage shushes me. “She’s home now.” He pushes me back, looking into my eyes. “Let’s go watch her sleep.”
“Okay.”
He looks back at the television. “Do you think …” He doesn’t finish his sentence. “Never mind. I don’t have a VHS player at home. Besides, I have every subscription service under the sun. I’m sure we can find these movies for her there.”
I begin stacking the VHS tapes in my arms. “You carry the TV.”
“It’s ancient.”
“It still works. Besides, Mila needs something familiar, and this is the only thing here that probably brought her a bit of joy.”
She doesn’t have any toys here. No stuffies. No books. No soft blankies. The only thing that shows a child once lived here is the crib and the children’s movies.
He sets everything in the back of the truck and then hops in beside me. He stares at the trailer for a few minutes. The scowl returns to his face, and honestly I don’t blame him. I understand completely.
“I think we should head over to the Cage,” I tell him.
“It’s getting late. By the time we drive into town …”
“Maybe you don’t need to go there,” I interrupt, looking at all the junk peeking out from between the weeds. “Looks like there are plenty of things to beat the shit out of right here.”
His head swivels my direction before going back to the mess outside. “You know, you’re right.” He reaches behind his seat, pulls out a baseball bat, and then gets out of the truck.
He walks over to a pile of junk and gets to it.
Oh, maybe this was a bad idea.
Glass flies everywhere, and blood begins to trickle down his arms. I hop out of the cab. “Rage, stop. You’re hurting yourself. We can finish this at the Cage.”
He pauses with the bat in mid-air but doesn’t look at me. “Get back in the truck, Serenity.”
Slowly I take a step back, sheltering myself behind the open door.
The man doesn’t move a muscle until I’m safely inside the truck again, and then he swings over and over, proving to me that he can live up to his name. He is pure rage in this present moment.