She gives me the shyest of smiles, and it honestly brings me joy I didn’t know existed.
“I think I saw a mermaid in your new room. Do you want to see if she’ll swim in the bathtub?”
The little girl doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t need to. I saw her shoulders lift the tiniest bit at the word mermaid.
“Your mermaid has pretty red hair. Let’s go see if we can find her.”
When I stand with her in my arms, I meet Rage’s gaze. His face softens, and he mouths “thank you.”
I’m sure he’s still so incredibly worried about her. He doesn’t really know what she’s been through. I feel his eyes on my back as we continue down the hall. Now that I think about it, maybe he does know what she’s been through. He was once that woman’s child too.
I try to focus on Mila as I gather what she’ll need for her bath. She’s sitting on the floor, studying the mermaid I placed in her hands, but my mind keeps going back to the thought of Rage as a kid. Did he grow up with a different version of the woman I saw lying on the couch in her own vomit?
Either way, it’s heartbreaking.
He’s always so calm, but there is a darkness that lingers beneath the surface. He’s learned to hide it. I know, because I see the same thing when I look in the mirror. It wasn’t born there. It was placed there by the demons that attached themselves to us when we were just children.
Maybe that’s why they call him Rage. Or is it because of his business name? Or have people seen true rage from this man? I shiver just thinking about it. I glance down at the little girl on the floor. Maybe I should stay until I’m sure of who he is. For her sake.
I’ve never felt an icky vibe from him, but I don’t trust him fully either. He’s basically been holding me against my will. I guess I could have gotten away yesterday, but … ugh, I’m so confused.
I’ve never felt so untethered in the world as I do right now. Everything feels like it’s shifting, and it’s unsettling beneath my feet. I have absolutely no vision of what tomorrow is going to bring, and that’s terrifying.
When I was living in chaos with my family, I always knew something bad was coming. At least it was predictable.
Mila looks up at me and holds out the doll. “Mermaid.”
I lower myself to my haunches and run my finger over the doll’s hair. “Should we go wash her pretty hair?”
She tries to hand it to me, and I push it close to her. “This is Mila’s doll, and this is Mila’s room.” I reach back and pat her mattress. “And this is Mila’s bed.”
Her hair is dark like her brother’s, and so are her eyes. They were dull just a few days ago, but today they are so much brighter and alert.
“And look at all these toys. They are all yours.”
“Mine,” she says, pushing to her feet to check out her new toy bin.
She hugs the mermaid to her chest as she picks through it. I walk over to the dresser and pull out some clothes for her.
“Are you ready to go take a bath with Miss Mermaid?” I ask.
Mila ignores me and continues digging through her toys.
I walk over and take her hand. “Mila, we need to give Miss Mermaid a bath, okay?”
She looks at the doll and then at me. When she doesn’t protest, I gently begin urging her toward the bathroom across the hall. Once inside, she sees the basket of bath toys I put in the tub for her yesterday.
I let her watch the water fill as I lay everything out on the counter. By the time I turn around, she’s already undressed and crawled in the tub. Her tiny ribs stick out sharply, and it makes my heart weep for her. I pick up her discarded clothes, placingthem in the hamper, and then I sit on the toilet lid to give her time to play.
Rage stands outside the door where she can’t see him. I give him a thumbs up. So far so good.
He nods before walking away.
After a few minutes, I get on my knees and show Mila how to wash the mermaid’s hair.
“See? Now it’s Mila’s turn,” I tell her.
She doesn’t seem to care that I’m dumping water over her head. She’s busy playing with her doll and the other toys the club bought for her.