Peanut trots up to me slowly. He does a thorough job of sniffing me from my feet all the way up my thighs while I stare at the sky, waiting for him to take a big chunk out of my leg.
“This is Serenity,” he tells the dog. “Serenity, this is Peanut. He’s a cane corso. Once he falls in love with you, you’ll never have to worry about anybody fucking with you ever again.”
Peanut’s snout nudges my hand, and I slowly let my head fall to look at him. He squints up at me with the prettiest golden eyes I’ve ever seen, and his fur is black as night. The dog looks a lot like his owner. He continues to push at my hand, so I give in and begin to give him scratches behind his ear.
“See, nothing to be afraid of.”
“Yeah, right,” I say, but I am feeling a bit better.
Cole grabs my bags out of the backseat.
Who packed up my belongings from the Inn?
“This dog has better discernment than any human. He can spot a rotten egg a mile away.” He starts walking toward the house.
The dog trots beside me as I follow close behind Cole.
Rage’s home has a giant front porch. I spin in a circle while I wait for him to unlock the door. My heart skips a beat at the view. It’s incredible.
“Rage lives here alone?” I ask when I step inside.
“Him and the dog.” Cole tosses the keys on the counter.
“It’s so …” I glance around, finding it hard to believe a man lives here by himself.
“Clean?” Cole chuckles sadly. “You saw his mom’s place. He grew up in the same shit.”
He doesn’t have to say more. I get it. I’ve done the same thing. Whatever my mom’s life was like, I’ve tried to live opposite of that.
Cole starts to walk through the house. “Rage said to set you up in his guest room.”
“He has a guest room?”
The farther we merge into his space, the more it blows my mind how calm Rage’s home feels. It’s warm and cozy with a lot of natural-colored tones. When I follow Cole into where I’ll be staying, I stop dead in my tracks.
“Man, you don’t look so good.” He sets my stuff on the floor and then turns the bedding down. “Go get in the shower. The bathroom is right there.” He nods toward a door on the other side of the room. “I’ll get you set up in here.”
“Yeah, a shower sounds great,” I say, grabbing a change of clothes and my toiletries. I pause to look at the painting hanging over the bed.
When I get in the bathroom, I stare at my reflection. Oh my god. The shock of my short hair combined with the mess on the front of my shirt is like looking at a younger version of myself.
I reach in my pocket and pull out the little duck I stole from the Cage. Technically it was mine to break, but I didn’t want to destroy him. I wanted to find him a new pond.
My heart completely stopped when I saw the painting on the wall over the bed. It’s two people sitting side by side on a dock watching ducks fly over a lake. I know it’s a stretch, but damn if it doesn’t feel like a sign.
I’ve never felt this way before. A feeling of hope has settled in my heart. That I’ll finally get away from the mess that is my life. That I’ll be safe. I don’t know how that will look, but I feel it.
I remember standing in the bathroom at twelve years old praying for CPS to come take me away, but that wasn’t always the case. In the beginning, my only prayer was that my mom would learn from the mistakes she made. I just wanted her to be a good mom.
But the times I did pray to be taken away, I dreamed of a home like this. I’m not naïve, though. Just because it’s a clean environment doesn’t mean it’s a good home. It’s the humanswho reside inside that make all the difference. I have no idea what it feels like when Rage is here. The atmosphere might change completely.
I take a few minutes to study my reflection, playing the past twenty-four hours over and over again in my mind. What if I hadn’t been with Rage today? I cover my mouth, suddenly feeling sick.
Somehow I manage to get in the shower without throwing up, and by the time I get out I’m feeling a little better. Cole is nowhere in sight. I glance around the room, finding all of the things from my car around me. How long does he think I’m going to be here?
After I get dressed, I head out to search for him and almost trip over the giant dog lying in front of my doorway.
“Oh, hey, Peanut,” I say, trying not to take a step back when he stands.