A giant man who pleasures me frequently… There is that.
Is it worth it, though? Won’t I suffer from tremendous resentment for years to come?
He bought me, and he intends to control me.
TWELVE
I think back on the only life I’ve really ever known: living on the space station. I was four when I was sent away from Earth. I barely recall much of anything from before then. Most of my memories begin on the space station.
The sadness I felt when I first boarded was tremendous. A small child, torn from her parents and her planet. I cried a lot. But then I had to pull it together because there were babies living on that home away from home.Somany babies. They were crying all the time because there weren’t enough adults to take care of them.
It fell on me and other toddlers to care for the infants. I learned to feed and change a baby in my fourth year of life. I grew up fast. I learned to read early, so I could help the adult women. I found out I enjoyed reading and learning, probably because those were the only times I got a break from working.
Babies called me “Mama” because I took care of them and they didn’t remember their own mothers at all. Within months, I barely remembered mine.
Tears come to my eyes as I recall those early years. So much work. Every day was exhausting. Eventually, the babies got older. The workload didn’t lessen; it just shifted. We neededmore food to feed all those mouths. We worked day and night, harvesting our plant-based diet.
Everyone is grown now. Adults over the age of twenty. But life is still difficult on the space station. Long days working. Short nights sleeping. Do I miss it?
I think about my new life of leisure. I’m no longer working myself to the bone. My fingers aren’t sore from digging potatoes. The skin on them has healed. My nails are healthier. My hair is, too. It’s always been thick and long, but Daddy washes it with a gentle soap and conditions it until it’s soft. He brushes it out, taking his time not to tug against my scalp.
I’m cleaner than I was on the space station. There isn’t a shortage of water here. It’s abundant. Daddy lets me sit in the tub and play. He doesn’t leave me unattended, of course, but it’s freeing.
I’m never hungry. He feeds me nutritious food on a firm schedule. Until this moment. I’m pretty hungry right now. My stomach is growling as I stare at the bottle and ignore the stupid kibble. The thought of that pet food in a bowl makes me want to scream.
Daddy changes me every time I wet myself. I should be grateful. Instead, I want him to let me use a toilet. Peeing in a diaper is humiliating. Being changed, especially when I poop, is degrading.
I shift my thoughts to the jammies I’m wearing. They’re so soft and warm. I was cold until he started dressing me in them. They’re definitely babyish, but appropriate, considering the fact that I’m only permitted to crawl.
It’s been quiet outside my cage for a while, but someone else enters, and Daddy has a conversation with whoever it is in whatever language he speaks. It makes no sense to me, and the sounds are so odd it’s nearly annoying.
Daddy doesn’t pay me any attention. He leaves me lying here for hours. I don’t know how long. I’m never aware of the time. I don’t know the durations of the days on this planet or even how many moons it might have. Do all planets orbit one sun? I don’t know that, either. I’ve only seen one out the window of his apartment, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t another out of my line of sight.
My shoulder is sore from lying on one side for so long. And I wince when I move even a few inches because I need to pee. Tears well up in my eyes. Sadness overwhelms me. I’m lonely.
I realize I haven’t been alone in twenty years. I’m never even by myself when I’m with Daddy. He doesn’t leave me. He talks to me a lot when I’m awake, too. This is the first time I’ve been totally alone for more than two minutes. I’d say it’s been hours.
I hear a door snick shut, and then the cloth is lifted from my kennel.
I frown and pull into a tighter ball.
Daddy reaches through the bars of my cage and taps my collar. I presume he turns my translator back on. I didn’t even know it could be turned off.
He opens the door to the cage next, letting it swing wide. “Come, Little pet,” he encourages in a soft voice.
When I don’t react, he drops to his knees, reaches into the enclosure, and scoops me out.
I whimper, sniffling back my stupid tears. I hate that he’s decided to let me out at the exact moment my emotions got the best of me. I don’t like looking weak, even to him.
Daddy settles me on his lap, pulls me in close to his body, and rubs my back. “My Little pet is having a rough time,” he says gently, rocking me in his arms.
His office has a window that faces outside, and another that faces the inner office. He has closed the blinds on that one. No one can see us.
For long minutes, he simply holds me, gently stroking my cheek and my neck with his fingers. “I know you’re frustrated, Little pet, but you need to make peace with your new life. It’s not going to change. There is nothing you can say or do that will alter the course you’re on.”
His words don’t make me feel better.
“We’ve discussed this at length. I don’t need to remind you why things are the way they are. I’m a patient man, Little pet. I had no idea how much joy you would bring into my life when I bought you. It was a gamble. Now that I have you, I know my life is going to be much more colorful and exciting. I can’t stop smiling. My heart is so full.”