Haunt me. Take me with you.
Even a glimpse would be enough.
Come back to me.
Please.
The Book of Heart
FORTY-SIX
Osian could feel him in every one of his senses. In his heart, his soul.
It was the single greatest agony that had yet befallen him, to watch Meilyr leave. To count his steps until they faded into stillness and rain.
If only the morning would never come. If only the rain would never cease, and the dawn never break, so he would not have to move further from the feeling of him. The sound of him. The taste of him.
Eventually, finally, Osian closed the hatch and returned the rug.
If only he could seal his heart away so easily.
It was the door Osian had said it would be, far enough down the stairs and through the tunnels for Meilyr to have stitched enough of himself back into the shape of a person.
As he squeezed through the panel of the false wall beside the tower window, Faina burst into tears and ran to embrace him, nearly breaking him again.
He had not been certain she would come. He was so, so glad she had.
‘When Prince Osian sent for me, I thought I was done for. But then Deryn…’ She reached for the other young woman, and Deryn took her hand. ‘Thank you, Meilyr,’ Faina said. ‘Thank you.’
Pedr rose stiffly from where they had perched by one of the other windows, suppressing a wince, slighter but no less severe out of uniform.
‘It is good to see you, Pedr,’ Meilyr said. ‘Are you all right to travel?’
‘They have us,’ Faina said, squaring her shoulders. ‘Thanks to you.’
Deryn had found them all cloaks, but other than a small bag under her arm, they were bringing only themselves.
‘Who is next?’ Pedr asked, straightening.
‘I wish I could bring all the books.’ Faina laughed nervously as theymoved through the tunnels. ‘Gods, mybooks.’
They reached the familiar hatch, the stiff lever at the side, the bloom of rain in the air from the cloisters.
Meilyr went to clamber out alone, but Pedr caught the hem of his tunic.
‘Let me come with you. The dungeons—’
‘I need you here, with them. If I am not back within the bell, head for the path I told you about. Do not worry, this is the easy part.’
‘Actually,’ Faina said, ‘I would also rather we stayed together. I know it’s not exactly subtle, but…’
‘Please.’ Meilyr really could not take much more. ‘It is safest here and…’
He lost the fight. He did not have much left in him to start with.
He went ahead whilst they remained concealed in a side corridor, dark enough they were invisible from the cloister. He tried not to remember what had happened here, but was unable to think of much else, save the ever-increasing tug behind his ribs. The iron keys concealed in his pocket buzzed against his fingertips: Osian had given them to him, the sensation of them nowhere near as all-consuming as the feeling of the prince still burned into Meilyr’s throat, his mouth, his entire body.
Theeasy partwas relatively easy. Osian had ordered the transfer and relocation of the guards, and regrouping with the others was more seamless than he could have hoped.