While it did feel as though the lovely dream of being safe under Matthew’s care could disappear at any moment, the truth was that there was no reason to think it would.She was so tired of being afraid.So tired of scrambling for a few more days of sustenance and hope.
Why could her mother not see those days were over?
Perhaps it was fear of having to return to them that had prompted her to make up wild stories in her mind.Perhaps she was too frightened to trust that all of this would not be taken away again.
Johanna could understand that.The very thought of losing everything she’d just gained by her marriage made her feel sick to her stomach.
She did not know how to reassure her mother.Only time would be able to ease the fear entirely.Johanna unclenched her hands and let out a long, slow breath.
“Everything will be well, Mother,” she said softly, putting her hand on her mother’s shoulder.There was no response, verbally or physically.“You will see.Just do not speak of this to anyone else.”
Her mother sniffed but did not argue, which Johanna presumed was the best she could hope for at the moment.There was a small throbbing in her head, not quite an ache but like the beginning of one.
Everything else in her life was so wonderful, she felt like she’d been swept into a fairy tale.She’d been rescued from a terrible fate, married to a handsome duke, and would have no worries for the rest of her life… Her mother’s fears and the terrible fantasy she’d conjured up because of it were the only fly in the ointment.
Perhaps she could find a way to bring the conversation around to the old duke with Lady Stark in the room.Surely, hearing from Lady Stark that the entiretonknew the dukes’ deaths had been accidents would help convince her mother to be reasonable.Why this thing had stuck so in her mind, Johanna could not countenance.
It was sheer madness to think that her sleeping potions had anything to do with their deaths, even if they had been purchased by one of their stewards.Of course Johanna did not wish to expose her mother’s madness.Lack of food must have done something to her.Hopefully, having it in plentiful amounts now would be healing.
At the very least, Johanna could be grateful that her mother did not seem eager to speak of it to anyone but Johanna herself.Hopefully, it would stay that way, especially as Johanna and the duke were already married, and the marriage had been thoroughly consummated.There was nothing to be done about that.
Tucking the covers in around her mother, Johanna sighed and left the room.As much as she wanted to convince her mother, it was obviously useless to make the attempt today when she was so upset.Maybe tomorrow she would be able to be more reasonable.
In the meantime, Johanna wanted to be the best duchess possible, and right now, that meant joining her sisters in learning how to dance.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Johanna
When her husband did not appear by suppertime, Johanna was becoming worried, but his grandmother waved her hand.
“He’s newly married, dear.When he gets home, you will tell him that the expectations of a married gentleman and an unwed gentleman are very different and that he will need to start returning home at a reasonable time.”Lady Stark was very confident in how the duke should be managed.
Johanna was not feeling so confident in her ability to manage him, but she supposed she would have to at least try.
Whatever his business was, it must have been important.She should not take it as a slight against herself.
Her sister, on the other hand, had no such reasonable compunction.
“What do you mean he is not joining us for supper?”Bridget appeared even more put out at the revelation than Johanna had been.Seated at the table, she leaned back against her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.Beside her, Micah appeared disappointed as well, though he was far more quiet about it.“He is your husband, and he is supposed to be here.”
“He was called away for something important this morning, remember?”Johanna reminded her gently, though part of her felt very much the same.“I am sure he would be here if he could.”
“Well, I think it is very ill done of him.”
“It depends on how important his business is,” Rose muttered, but the look of disapproval on her face said she agreed more with Bridget than Johanna.
“He will learn,” Lady Stark said, though she looked as though she wanted to smile.At least she did not seem put out at Bridget’s criticism of her grandson.“It is his first time being a husband, after all.”
Bridget thought about that for a moment, tilting her head to the side.
“That is true.Should he not have learned from his father, though?”
Lady Stark sniffed.
“Unfortunately, his father was not the paragon he thought he was, at least not when it came to family.I would be surprised if he showed up for a meal with Matthew and my daughter more than once a fortnight.”There was a dark look in her eyes.“Though I doubt either of them missed him and would have been happy to have his presence afflict their suppers even more sparsely.”
Frowning, Bridget looked to Johanna, who shook her head, mystified.Obviously, Lady Stark had not cared very much for her son-in-law, duke or not.It did explain why Matthew might not have thought that attending supper this evening was very important.If his father had rarely been around for meals… while Matthew had already taken quite a few with her and her family.