Before I know what’s happening, Lara is hugging me so tight it’s a little hard to breathe. “I’m not firing you,” she admonishes me. “You just scared me half to death but I’m so glad you’re okay.” She sighs, “I think you haven’t realized how many people care about you. You, Graycie, not the job you do or anything else, just you. It’ll take time to relearn what that means.”
She uses her grip on me to push me away from her forcefully so she can look at me closely, which she does. Very closely.
“You are okay, right?” The concern in her voice is easy to hear.
A smile grows on my face, starting out slow and ending up so wide my cheeks ache, while I nod. “I’m more than okay,” I tell her and then lower my voice to a whisper, “I’m in love with a biker and he’ll always protect me.”
Lara’s eyebrows shoot all the way to her hairline, and her mouth opens and closes again. Speechless; I’ve rendered her completely speechless. It’s kind of hilarious because between her and Opal, there is a lot of talking.
I wasn’t sure about being in the mix, not really. But that was before, when I was scared of my own shadow, and couldn’t imagine a time when I would feel like myself again.
Everything’s changed now. Soon, I might have to consider if Bunz Out is really what I want to do. I love working here, but if Turner has his way, then I’m already pregnant. Maybe I could take on some marketing clients, freelance of course, and see what happens.
I can’t say I love waking up this early. The sun isn’t even thinking about peeking over the horizon yet and here I am. At work.
But I don’t have to make any decisions today.
Today I’m going to help Lara and throw myself in the stability and predictability which has kept me sane over the last few months. I owe it to her because she had my back without knowing the depth of how much I needed it. Opal did the same.
“Okay,” Lara breathes out and lets go of me, “no mushy stuff.” She gives me a pointed look like her getting emotional is my fault. “And no humping bikers in the bakery.”
My eyes widen and a laugh rushes out of me, because that was pretty much the last thing I expected her to say. “I’ll refrain from humping in the bakery, but only bikers,” I tease her.
She scoffs, but I can see one side of her mouth twitching like she’s fighting a smile. “I don’t think your biker is going to give you the chance to hump anyone but him,” she points out. Unhelpfully.
Because it’s fucking obvious.
“It’s kind of hot,” I admit and wiggle my eyebrows at her.
She pinches the bridge of her nose, but the smile she can’t fight anymore gives her away. “Who even are you? I don’t think I’ve met this Graycie before.”
My shoulders fall a little and sadness creeps into my words, “I’ve come to realize that I haven’t been myself for a long time. Fear, pain, and trauma will do that. My ex was an abusive bastard, and it felt like no one cared about what was happening to me. It felt like I was drowning every single day.”
I take a deep breath because that was a lot after avoiding talking about it for so long. But I just wanted to pretend to be normal, even though I was far from it. Not to mention, the last thing I want is for her to look at me with pity. I don’t want pity.
I’m a survivor. I got out.
And now I don’t have to ever look for him in a crowd again.
“Now I get to find myself again,” I admit softly.
“Well,” Lara gives my arm a squeeze, “I really like you, Graycie and I’m so glad you came here and we met. It could have gone a million different ways, but this is the right one.”
As tears prick the backs of my eyes, I screw my face up, my words filled with righteous accusation, “You said no more mushy stuff.”
“But then you forced me to trauma bond with you,” she snaps and waves her hands around in exasperation.
“Whatever,” I throw back mulishly.
“Come on,” she chirps brightly, “let’s get to work.”
And we do, while chatting about Vanessa and getting me back up to speed on all things Bunz Out. I get lost in the normalcy of it and it helps to ground me when it feels like I could float away at any moment.
I’m in love.
My man worships me.
The man who hurt me can’t touch me again.