CHAPTER 1
GRAYCIE
The sun isn’t even threatening to rise yet, but I’m awake. Some people would complain about it being too early, but when you face your own death, knowing it’s just a matter of time, getting up early isn’t really something to complain about. After being with my ex and enduring his violence, a lot of things became a matter of perspective.
Sometimes I still can’t believe I was able to escape Sylvester.It felt like it took forever to plan. I had to hide money throughout the house and hope he never found it. I hid a bag at the bus depot and every day I lived with the fear of him finding the key to the locker. I never put everything I would need when I ran in one place because the fear of being found out made me paranoid.
Even though I got away, the paranoia stuck. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder because I’m worried that he’s right behind me reaching for me.
The nightmares are paralyzing.
It’s been so long since I’ve had a good night’s sleep.
When I was with him, I barely slept because I never knew when he was going to pull a Jekyll/Hyde. Which version of him would come home from work? Who would be eating dinner and would they like it? Are his volatile feelings right on the surface while he’s crawling into bed?
I was constantly asking myself those questions.
There was no way I could eat either. I escaped months ago, but I’m only now able to see my curves filling back in. Honestly, sometimes it’s still difficult to eat.
Because there are times when I can still hear his voice. And all the words he spewed at me to break my spirit.
I know it’s what he was doing. Still, knowing wasn’t enough of a shield; his acidic whispers still found the cracks. And ate at them.
He eroded the way I see myself, and now I can’t always look in the mirror. I can feel his words ooze over my skin, changing me and showing me all the flaws he saw. Even though I know they’re not really there.
There’s still a morning chill in the air, which is exactly what I need when I step out of my garage apartment. It was lucky I found it when I arrived in Dogwood Ridge, Tennessee. Maybe it wasn’t luck, maybe the cook and owner of the diner in town took pity on someone who was clearly having a hard time and needed a little help.
Because I looked like complete shit when I showed up in town.
A completely random town. I had no real destination when I got on the bus. The only thing I was sure of was needing to get as far away as possible. Going somewhere cold was out of the question. The milder winter along the Blue Ridge Mountains is enough. Someplace colder? No thank you.
This is nice because it’s different from Phoenix. Thankfully. And small-town life is better for me.
I just hope Sylvester never comes to look for me here. I’m not sure where I would turn.
Stan would try to help me, and he’d get Sheriff Lyons involved since they’re brothers. The problem is that Sylvester doesn’t play fair. Behind the curtain of high-powered attorney, according to him, is a man who works for people the devil would try to avoid.
Maybe a saint would be a better choice.
As I slide behind the wheel of Dolly’s car, the one her son, and my landlord, has maintained since her death, I’m grateful all over again that I landed here.
By chance.
By fate?
“Nope,” I admonish myself, “not going to think that. Dangerous territory.”
The light upstairs in the house flicks on and I know Stan is up. He’ll be at Dolly’s Place soon enough, but I have my own things to get in the oven and Lara will probably beat me into the kitchen anyway. Since she only has to go downstairs from the apartment above, her commute can’t get any better.
It allows her to work and keep her daughter safe at the same time. I have to admire her as a parent. I always felt like an inconvenience to my parents and their plans. They’re the ones who insisted Sylvester was the man for me.
I’m sure they just wanted his connections. Looking back, I’ve come to terms with things I wasn’t willing to see. Or maybe I just didn’t realize how close the shadows were. There used to be a time when I knew life would be difficult, that I would need to put in effort, but I didn’t think evil would touch me.
I would never have imagined the violence I endured. Or the way Sylvester twisted my mind and used it against me.
My parents made me his perfect prey with their indifference.
The moment I pull up to Bunz Out, I jump out of the car and rush to the back door, knowing it’ll be unlocked for me. We have the morning’s timing down. And there’s not a lot of crime here, not with the pride Sheriff Lyons has for enforcing the law. Or the way the local motorcycle club demands respect.