“Pam?Are you okay?”
“Just hold me, Cutter.It feels so good when you do.”
She wasn’t sure if he heard the desperation in her whisper.She hadn’t deliberately put it there, but after the way John had touched her, Cutter’s embrace was healing.She needed that badly.
When he hugged her more tightly, she sighed in relief.For the longest time they sat there holding each other.It was all Pam wanted, a balm that was penetrating and pure.Then, slowly, she began to notice things like the fullness of his chest, and his warmth, and she wanted more.When he nudged her face again, she turned it up.
His mouth brushed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks.She turned the tiniest bit to catch his kiss, but it was an elusive whisper.She looked up to find his eyes soft but troubled.
“I shouldn’t do this,” he said.
“I love you.”
“You’re too young.”
“I’ve loved you forever.”
“Not this … way.”In the next breath, he lowered his head and kissed her.
Pam melted.Her eyes closed, her lips softened.She was his to mold, which he did with leisure from first one angle, then another.Finally drawing back, he put a fingerto her lips and said in a thick voice, “I’m in trouble, I think.”
“Do it more,” she whispered and ran her hands through his hair.
“Pam—”
“More.”She pulled his head down.Everything inside her cried with the wanting.She loved him too much to let him go so soon.And she could tell he wanted her.
His kiss was harder, and she loved it.He taught her to move her lips the way he liked, taught her to open them wider, taught her to give him her tongue.She was trembling when he finally raised his head.
“I’ve never done that before,” she said in a broken whisper.
“Never?”
“Never.Was it good?”
He rolled his eyes and laughed.“Was it ever.”The laugh ended with a sharp gasp when she reached up and touched the tip of her tongue to the corner of his mouth.
In the next instant she was on her back on the bed, with Cutter on top of her.His hands were in her hair, holding her still, while his mouth took hers in a kiss that was raw with need.
Pam had never tasted a man’s hunger that way.If the force of it was frightening, the excitement of it was beyond belief.It made her ache the same way her day-dreams had.Without conscious thought, she arched her body against his.
He swore and slipped to the side.
“What’s wrong.Cutter?What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing.Oh, baby …” His face was against the pillow,shoulders hunched and rigid.He moved his hips against the bedcovers.His voice was muffled.“You did everything so right that if I’m not inside you soon, I might just embarrass us both.”
His words stole her breath.Her eyes were large when he raised his head.
“Do you know how much I want you?”he asked in a tormented whisper.His face was flushed, his eyes hot, his features tight.
The thought made her soar.Looking at him then, she knew she was the luckiest woman on earth.She touched his cheek, the bridge of his nose, his eyebrow.Catching her hand, he brought it to his mouth and pressed it there hard for a heated minute.Then he carried it over his chest, past his waist to the distended front of his jeans.
Pam remembered the way John had felt there when he’d flattened her against the bed.He’d been hard and ugly, threatening a violation.But there was nothing threatening about Cutter.Nor anything ugly.He was very, very hard.But she loved him.She wanted to touch him.
Opening her hand, she explored his shape.He allowed it for no more than a minute before he forced her hand away.When she protested, he silenced her with a kiss that distracted her, and by the time he let her up for air, he was stroking the side of her breast.Her flesh grew warm with pleasure.She made a small sound, then waited, breathing raggedly, wanting more but unable to ask for it.
Something of her desire must have reached him, because before he’d even fully cupped her he began to unbutton her blouse.She felt the air on her skin, then thestrength of his large hand.Again, helplessly, she thought of John.