“He didn’t do anything.”
“B’cause you fought him off.”
Pam shrank into herself.
For one who rarely did anything with great speed, Marcy was surprisingly fast into the chair beside her.“Talk about it, Pammy.You can’t keep it inside.”
“It’s ugly.”
“The good Lord knows I’ve seen ugly before.Jarvis taught me all I had to know about that.”
Pam’s eyes widened.“He hit you, but he didn’t—”
“He tried.More’n once.That was another reason your daddy wanted me out of there.”
“Oh, Marcy,” Pam whispered, feeling sick, “I didn’t know.”
“There was no need for you to know then.But you know now, so you know I know what you’re feeling.”She took her hand.“Tell me.”
Needing to confide in someone, Pam did.At the end, she said pleadingly, “Did I ask for it?I went out of my way to be nice because it felt so good to be a family.He was pleased, so I was pleased.Did I go too far?Did I lead him on?”
“No.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t lead him on!”
“He’s my brother.I’d never do something like that with my own brother.I’ve never done it with anyone.”But she wanted to.She wanted to do it with Cutter, and each time she was with him she felt the pull more.Now she couldn’t even tell him about John.He’d be livid.“What am I going to do, Marcy?I can’t sleep.I can’t eat.I feel sick.”
Marcy stroked her hand.“When is he coming back?”
“I don’t know.We didn’t talk this morning.He just handed me my ticket and looked at me like I was dirt.”
“He’s trying to make you feel to blame for what happened, but you’re not, Pammy.He is.There’s something wrong with that man.”
His words kept crowding her mind.“He said I was like my mother.He said she came on to him, too.Did you ever see her do that?”
“I never saw anything,” Marcy said immediately.
“When I threatened to tell what he did, he said no one would believe me, and he’s right.I don’t have any proof.But I can’t stay here anymore, Marcy.I can’t live in the same house with him.”She had been agonizing over the problem for hours.“I’d move up to Timiny Cove and live there, but he’d never allow it.”
“You should be here with your friends at school.”
Pam wanted that.She had two more months to go in her junior year, then her whole senior year.It wasn’t the time to transfer.“I’ll have to board.The dean will let me do it if there’s space.”When Marcy looked stricken, she hurried on.“I don’t want to.I’ll miss you.If there were any other solution, I’d take it, but there isn’t one.John would never let me live in an apartment.I can’t just move in with a friend and her family without explanations, and I can’t make the explanations.”
“The school will ask.”
“I’ll say I want to try out dorm living before I go to college”
“Will John fight you?”
Pam had asked herself that more than once, and each time she felt stymied.“I can’t prove what he did.He didn’t get far enough—”
“Thank the good Lord.”
“And it only happened once.If I make noise about it, he can say I’m mentally unbalanced.”She raised her chin a notch.“But if I make noise, he’ll feel it.People will wonder.It’ll embarrass all of us, but if John gives me trouble, so help me, I’ll do it.He makes a big thing of his image.If he wants to protect it, he’ll let me move into the dorm.”
John returned two days later.By then, Pam had spoken with the school, found a place in the dorm, and made arrangements to move in at the end of spring break, given John’s approval.He gave it, but not without a parting shot.“The same rules apply,” he sneered.“Honor roll, or else.”