“I keep the Coke for you.”
“So keep it for another time.I want a beer.”Fullyaware that he was watching, she popped the tab and took a swallow.
Cutter leaned back against the sink.“You do that pretty smoothly.Go to lots of beer parties?”
“Some.”
“It’s fun, huh?Kind of defiant?Makes you feel big?”
“You should know.You’ve been drinking beer for years.”
“And I’ll be drinking it long after you’ve outgrown it and moved on to wine.That’s what I’m trying to say, Pam.What I’m doing now, I’ll be doing for the rest of my life, but you—you have the whole world open in front of you.You’re still growing.There’ll come a time, not too far off, when you won’t want to be up here.You’ll have a full life in the city—”
“Never a full life there.Part of me was meant to be here.”
“But your future is there.You’ll be part of the business someday.You won’t have time to go for walks in the woods—”
“With you, always.”
He shook his head.“You’re growing up.Your life is just starting.You’re going to go back to Boston and get those good grades—not because of John’s threats but because you want to.You’ll go to college, then go into the business, and somewhere along the way you’ll meet someone just as smart and successful as you are.You’ll get married and have kids, and once in a while you’ll bring them up here and show them to me, only I’ll be exactly the same then as I am now.”
That wasn’t at all how Pam imagined it.“You’re wrong.I may go to college, and I’ll surely go into the business, but I’m not getting married so quickly.”She tipped up her chin.“I’m waiting for you.”
“Waiting for what?”
“You to get married.”
“I won’t ever.”
“Then I won’t either.”
“That’s the craziest thing I ever heard.”
“No more crazy than your not getting married or not going back to school or not getting a better job if that’s what you want.Not that you need a better job.The one you have now is just fine.It’s honest and it’s important.”
“You say that because you’re young and idealistic.”
“For God’s sake, Cutter, you’re only seven years older than I.”
“Seven years and a lifetime.”
She rolled her eyes.“Please.”
He regarded her for a long time.“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“What I’m trying to say.”
“You’re saying that I’m going places and you’re not, but you’re wrong.”
Coming away from the sink, he took her chin in his hand.His voice vibrated with feeling.“I’m saying that if things were different, if I hadn’t thrown it all away because I was young and dumb and scared, I’d have a chance with you now.You’re the only girl I’ve ever met who I’d think of marrying, but I’m all wrong for you.”
Pam’s heart had started to pound against her ribs.“No—”
“You’re poised and polished.You’ve got money.You’ve got class and breeding.”His thumb brushed her mouth.She felt its touch deep inside her.“Me, I’ve got nothing but this house, a pickup, and a job.Sure, I’ve got a little money in the bank, but not so much that it would make a difference.We’re from opposite sides of the track.”
“There’s no track here,” she argued, nearly breathless because he was so close to her.“That’s what Daddy proved.He had money, but he was always one of the miners, and he was happiest that way.I’m the same.I’m happiest when I’m up here.”