Alexander glanced at the screen and his eyebrows shot up. “Christ, Sebastian, how many of these did you find?”
“Two hundred and thirty-seven. I was thorough.”
“This is going to be humiliating.”
“That’s the point,” Lukas said approvingly. “I believe humiliation builds character.”
“You also believe in Christmas demons,” Ethan pointed out.
“And I’m a better person for it.”
Alexander took the phone from Sebastian, cleared his throat, and looked around the room like a man about to face a firing squad.
“The things I do for friendship,” he muttered, then read the first tweet aloud.
“Alexander looks like a substitute teacher who really wants the class to like him.”
“I mean…” He hesitated, brow furrowing. “Better than being feared?”
“Disagree,” Sebastian said, lounging deeper into his chair. “Fear is efficient.”
Lukas didn’t even look up from his cards. “Also, this is a stag party, not a team-building retreat. Try again.”
Alexander sighed and scrolled to the next.
“King Alexander has the kind of face you want to punch and then immediately apologize to.”
Ethan doubled over laughing. “That’s art. Violenceandguilt in one sentence.”
“Eight out of ten,” Lukas said, finally looking up. “Great emotional whiplash.”
Alexander arched a brow and read another.
“He’s definitely seen someone die and just never talks about it.”
He paused. “…That’s alarmingly specific.”
Lukas gave a single approving nod. “Nine. Because now I believe it.”
“This man is either a virgin or has an 800 body count. No in between.”
Alexander choked on his drink, coughing into his sleeve. “Jesus.”
“Ten out of ten,” Lukas said, absolutely delighted. “Internet chaos at its finest.”
“He looks like he’s been cursed by an ancient crown and hasn’t told anyone yet.”
“That wouldn’t be the worst part of the job,” Alexander muttered.
“Nine,” Lukas judged. “Extra point for lore potential.”
“He’s hot but in a scary way. He has that intense stare. Looks like he’d help you fix your sink and then kill you with the wrench.”
Ethan raised his glass. “These are unhinged, I love it.”
“I’m…” Alexander looked around the room, a little unnerved. “I’m disturbed by how often I’m being compared to murderers.”
“It’s the internet. You get used to it,” Sebastian said breezily.