“I’ll find a way.”Fuck knew what that would be.
“I’ll check on her when I’m in PoCo.She didn’t ask me for space, so I can do some work for you there.I’ll keep you posted.”
“Thank you, Jess.How are you and Alek?”
“Good.Really good.I gave work my notice, and even though I don’t know what I’ll be doing, I’m excited about the possibilities.”
“And Alek?”
“He’s analyzing all the teams with his agent, trying to figure out where he can go after the season ends.”
“Any particular places look good?”
“He won’t tell me anything.Says it’s bad karma.”
“He probably has something he’s hoping for and doesn’t want to jinx it.”
“Why are hockey players so superstitious?”
“Just be glad he’s not a goalie.”
I had one last thing to do before I left BC.I took the ferry over to Victoria and surprised my parents.
It wasn’t a long visit.Mom was stiff and didn’t meet my eyes.Dad tried to be an intermediary, but he was mostly concerned with Mom.I told them I’d been hurt by what they did eleven years ago, and by the way they’d lied and cheated me since.That I’d put Jess in the middle, and it had hurt her as well.
They were my family, but I needed them to understand and apologize for the things they’d done that hurt their children.
They didn’t.So I left.
My therapist was right—facing that pain was freeing.Unfortunately, the hole that Mia had left in my heart still hurt, and that wasn’t changing.
Chapter28
The Bubble Popped
Mia
Sharing a room with my son meant I couldn’t cry, not without Arne asking questions.I shoved everything down and focused on dealing with life without Justin.I’d done it before.I’d do it again.But this time was so much worse.
I couldn’t channel my feelings into anger, because this was all my decision.There wasn’t school to divert my energy into like I had then.My job helped while I was working, but that was only forty hours of my week.I had a new assignment, with an elderly woman, and it was days, which meant more time with Arne and fewer childcare issues.Those were plusses.
Unfortunately, the woman was cranky and critical.Nothing was good enough for her, and with my emotions already raw, it was difficult to hang on to my patience.It did mean I had to keep my attention focused while I was there.
With the end of the school year, soccer had ended too.Arne was in a soccer camp to start the summer, and was eager to sign up for skating lessons, but we had to wait till the community center schedules came out.We also were going to wait till the different clubs had their secondhand skate sales in September, because it was cheaper and it was all too likely that by September Arne would grow out of anything I bought him now.He was disappointed but he didn’t sulk—much.He was a good kid, and I wished I could give him everything he wanted.
You know, so one of us was happy.
It was a relief when another Friday was over and I had two days off to get things done around the house and spend time with Arne.Erik was picking him up for lunch on Saturday and keeping him for the afternoon.I could get groceries without worrying about whether Mom was up to supervising him, or if Cora was willing to keep an eye on him.
I woke up slowly, relishing the luxury of not setting an alarm clock.Not that I could sleep in much with Arne sharing the room.This morning, he was frowning over a book when I opened my eyes.
“Hey, sweetie.You’re already up?What are you reading?”
He dropped the book on his lap.“Barney gave me a book on hockey players.It doesn’t even mention Mr.Justin.Is it a dumb book?”
I felt a pang at hearing his name.“No.There are a lot of hockey players.Justin isn’t the most famous.”
His brows pulled down.“He should be.”