There was so little time left to us.I couldn’t stay, and she couldn’t leave.“Could we have now, just now, to enjoy what might have been?”
She swallowed.“What might have been?”
“If things had been different.I can’t think of anything I want more than being with you.”
She drew in a breath.“Sex.”
“Sure.Or making out.Holding hands.Being together, without trying to pretend it’s over or that there’s nothing here.Because there is.”
She huffed a breath.“Yeah, there is.”
“There are a million problems, but we can leave that for the future.I want to enjoy now, because the past eleven years have been brutal.”
There was a little crease between her eyebrows.“So, a time-out?”
“Exactly.The puck is out of play and the game is paused.We just enjoy now.”
For interminable seconds she kept me waiting, and then finally, quietly, “Okay.”
Relief almost made my knees give out.I gripped her hands.“And maybe not in the kitchen?”
Her lips tilted into a smile.A breathtaking, heart-stopping smile.“Maybe not.”
“Living room or bedroom?”I wanted her in my bed.I wanted to wrap myself around her and lose myself in her.But it was her call.
Again, she made me wait, but this time she was holding back a grin.“Bedroom.”
Damn it, had I even made the bed?I wasn’t going to risk Mia changing her mind while I changed the sheets, so I towed her upstairs behind me.I paused in the doorway of my room, checking how bad it was.The duvet wasn’t pulled up and the pillows were crooked, but at least the laundry was in a basket.
“This brings back memories,” she said.
Yeah, we’d spent time together in this room whenever we could slip away and be alone.Grandma used to be so careful to tell me when she’d be out for a while.“I’m sorry, I didn’t change the sheets…”
“Justin, I don’t care.Let’s pretend it’s us, back then, and we’ve got the house to ourselves.Just live in that moment.We never fussed about sheets.”
I didn’t want to live in the past.I wanted the now.I’d take this gift Mia was giving me, but I’d damn well do better with her than I had as an eighteen-year-old.
I tugged her into the room and wrapped my arms around her.“Where were we?”
“Your family just left, Justin!What if they come back?”Her eyes were sparkling as she got into the game.She wasn’t worrying about Arne.Good.
“I heard the car go.They’re gone.Let’s make the most of our time.”I ran my hands over her hair and gently pulled the tie out, letting the strands fall freely around her face.She looked more like my Mia that way.I cradled her face and reached down to kiss her again.
This time she was the one to push into my mouth and chase my tongue.I let her lead, familiarizing myself with her taste and feel, remembering the things she liked and that drove her crazy.A kiss under her left ear and she trembled.My hands skimmed up to brush the sides of her breasts and she made that whimpering noise again.She pressed closer, but I let my hands drop, grabbing the bottom of her scrub top and tugging upward.
She broke away from the kiss.“Great idea.”She lifted her hands so I could pull the top off.The bra underneath was plain and worn, but the way it cupped her was sexy as hell for me.Her breasts were fuller and heavier.Her body had changed, and I was looking forward to tracking each difference with my mouth.Before I unhooked the bra, she’d shoved her hands under my T-shirt and pushed up.I reached behind me for the neck and tugged it off.
Her eyes fixed on my chest.The hair was thicker, and there were scars from years of playing hockey.I was broader, and heavier.Not like her ex.Would that be a problem?But she ran her hands over my pecs, brushing my nipples and scratching through the chest hair.Guess older and heavier worked for her.
I reached to undo her bra, and this time she stiffened.I stopped.“Problem?”
Worried eyes met mine.“I’m not the same.”
My hands caressed her ribs.“Me either.That’s okay.”
Her eyes dropped.“I’ve had a kid.It changes you.I’ve got stretch marks, a pooch…”
I whispered in her ear, “I’m not lean like your ex, and my skin is marked up.”