The betrayal hit me like a cross-check.Jess and Denny.The guy whose parents destroyed our lives.Grief about Grandma already scraped my emotions raw, but now fury rocketed upward.I clenched my fists and barely restrained myself from punching through a wall.
“Grandma is dead.”I wasn’t worried about making it easy for her now.How could she?“Your phone showed me you were here.Check your messages.”
I turned and slammed out of the condo, heading for the stairs and running down them fast enough to trip.Jess would follow me and I couldnottalk to her right now.I’d say something unforgivable and I needed to get away.
My knees were feeling it by the time I made it to the bottom of the high-rise.I had no idea where to go or what to do.I started walking.After several blocks, I was cold and tired.I went into the next hotel I passed, and for once, I was grateful that so many people knew me in Toronto.I booked a room using only the credit card in my phone wallet, and after signing a few things and promising game tickets if they kept my privacy, I was free.I took the elevator up, and after a hot shower, crawled into the bed naked.
My body was exhausted but I couldn’t sleep, staring up at the ceiling, a strip of light showing there from where the curtains didn’t quite meet.Grandma, Jess… It was easier to focus on what Jess had done than think on Grandma being gone.No wonder Jess had kept things quiet.Fuck!
Alek Denbrowski hadn’t done anything to us—not till now.But his family had stolen our money and my dreams.Jess’s dreams too.What they’d done had changed my life and I hated them for it.That day…
I’d kept that day in a box.Carefully closed and put away.I had several boxes of things I couldn’t face: Grandma and dementia; Sharleen, my ex-wife; Mom and Dad.Any one of them was enough to mess me up.But the biggest box was Mia.And here, after seeing Jess with Alek, the lid was pushing open…that first day I saw her in science class, our first kiss, first?—
I rolled over in bed, taking deep breaths and forcing down those memories and the pain attached.Reliving more of that time would rip open wounds that I couldn’t deal with, not right now.It wasn’t easy, but I managed to close the lid—in my mind, I shoved it down and latched it.Locked it.Tossed away the key.But my hands were shaking and my eyes burned.
I must have finally fallen asleep.I pushed up, blinking as my internal clock woke me up and I remembered where I was and why.I wished I hadn’t.
My phone was almost out of juice, but I booked a ticket for Jess.First class, first flight out.I’d have to talk to her, apologize, but not yet.I wasn’t proud of what I’d said and done last night, but Alek Denbrowski was one thing too many for me to handle.
I sent a message to the team, telling them my grandmother had passed but that I’d come in for morning skate.I couldn’t imagine being stuck on a plane with my twin for five hours while we did or didn’t talk about her and Denny.Going to practice meant I could fly out later.
Physical activity, turning my mind off, would be a reprieve.Then I’d have to get my shit together enough to fly to BC and handle the funeral and the fallout from Grandma’s will.I wasn’t totally sure I could do it.
The team messaged that I could fly with the Seattle team to the West Coast after their game tonight with our crosstown rivals.Perfect.
I booked a rideshare to the practice facility.Here, I didn’t have to deal with my shit, I just had to work my body, keeping everything locked down.I’d forgotten that I’d have to face Denny.It wasn’t easy, but I avoided him and managed mostly not to think about him.
Coach called everyone in at the end of practice and told them my grandmother had passed.They’d call up Luke Walker from the Inferno until I was back.There were murmurs from the players.Coach released us, and I’d rather have done suicide drills than be calm and polite while the guys expressed their condolences.
“You need anything, you let me know.”Cooper slapped my back.“What’s the address to send flowers?Or would you prefer donations?”
“Donations, I think.Might help someone else, right?”
“Tell Jess we’re thinking of her too.”
I nodded, unable to swallow.Without Jess and my teammates, I’d be lost.
Then Denny skated over.“Sorry for your loss.I know she did a lot for you.”
Everything I’d been shoving down—Jess and this fucker, Grandma, the marriage and disastrous divorce with Sharleen, Mia—came spilling out of those boxes in a burst of red-hot fury.
“You know, do you?Jess tell you all about it while you were screwing around?”
He went still.“Just wanted to offer my condolences.”
“I don’t want your fucking condolences.Just keep your hands off my sister.”He started to back away, but I couldn’t stop.“Or was that your plan the whole time?Fuck and run?You haven’t screwed us over enough already?”
“That wasn’t me!”Now he was angry too, and that fed the beast inside me.“I am not responsible for my parents!”
Somehow it was never anyone’s fucking fault, and yet I got screwed over.Every.Single.Time.I couldn’t just shove it down and pretend it was nothing.Not this time.My fists clenched and I wasn’t stopping.I dropped the gloves and let my hands curl up.
“We shouldn’t do this?—”
I needed to shut him up.I aimed for his face, left fist, then right.Pain shot through my hand and up my arm as I connected with his helmet.
Fuck.
Chapter2