“It won’t right away.And it won’t help Jess go to school.”
It might be good for Jess to have to get a job and pay for school like the rest of us.But I don’t say that.“There’s got to be another way.”
He shrugs.And I get angry.He’s just going to give up everything?School, BC, and me?He’s not going to fight?
“It’s their own fault.Why do you have to give up your life for them?”
Now he’s angry too.He crosses his arms.“They need me.We’ve lost everything.But you and me, we can still make this work.”
“Long-distance?”
He bites his lip.“Come with me to New York.You can go to school there.”
He’s so out of touch.Like I can apply now, to get into a school.And somehow pay for living expenses in one of the most expensive cities in the world.And leave all my responsibilities behind.“I can’t.I have to help Mom take care of the kids.”
“How is that different than what I’m doing?”
Doesn’t he see?“I’m not giving up my dream to take care of people who can take care of themselves.Your family are perfectly capable.My mother physically can’t do a lot of things.The kids are five and seven—they need someone.Bruce is on the road half the time.I have obligations that mean I have to physically be here.”
He shrugs his shoulders in a way that makes me want to hit him.“Then we’ll do long-distance until they catch the Ponzi people, or till I can get traded back here.”
“How likely is it that you can do that?”I researched very extensively after the draft.The chances are basically nil.“I’m not going to wait around for some vague time when you might be playing here.I’m not going to watch you give up everything you want for people who don’t even appreciate what you’re sacrificing.”
Like me.Don’t I count in his calculations?
Justin swallows.“This is all I’ve got.There’s no time to come up with something else.”
He reaches his hand to me, but I don’t take it.I just know that if he does this, we’re not going to make it.I need him to know what it’s going to cost if he doesn’t try something else.So I walk away.
He doesn’t stop me.
Chapter1
First Mistake
Justin
I didn’t like answering the phone.It never was good news.
If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be balancing on my skates now, pain shooting up my arm, body shaking with adrenaline and anger.I cradled my aching right hand, fingers jutting out at weird angles that made me queasy to look at.My gloves were on the cold surface of our team’s practice arena, and my teammate, Alek Denbrowski was sprawled on the ice.What the fuck had I done?
First mistake?I’d answered the fucking phone.
Twelve hours before, my cell phone had buzzed.I recognized the Vancouver area code, but not the number.Since I never answered when Mom and Dad called, chances were they’d gotten a new number or borrowed a phone.Phone calls from them never led to anything good.
Jess usually dealt with them for me, making sure they didn’t guilt me into sending them money.But damn it all, why did she always have to be the bad cop?Lately, she’d been happier.Something good was going on, and I was waiting for when she’d be ready to share with me.Her job?A new friend at her book club?A guy?She hadn’t dated for a while.
The phone buzzed again.For once, I could just ignore Mom and Dad’s pressure and tell them no myself.I paused the hockey game on the living room TV and slid my thumb right on the phone to answer.“Justin Johnson.”
“Mr.Johnson?”Definitely not Mom and Dad.“This is Parkview Manor.We’ve been trying to reach Jessica, but she hasn’t answered, and you’re the next contact for Ida Johnson.”
The room chilled around me.Parkview was a senior center, the place I paid to take care of Grandma—Ida—since her dementia made it impossible for her to live on her own.I really wanted to hang up and pretend this wasn’t happening, going back to watching our crosstown rivals lose.Not an option now.
“Is there a problem?”The words made it through my dry mouth.
“We’re very sorry to tell you that on our last rounds, we found your grandmother in her bed, no longer breathing.She passed peacefully.”
My hands clenched on the phone but I was speechless.Grandma gone?