“Don’t even,” said Tonya before I could thank her again.“I consider us friends, okay?”
I took a long breath as I clicked my seat belt on.“Okay.”
“Friends help each other, right?”
I nodded.How I was going to help Tonya I had no idea, but I owed her.She’d gotten to know me better than I realized through a couple of seasons of soccer.
“Please don’t make this a thing where you keep some kind of ledger of what you owe me or I owe you.I like you, I like hanging out with you while we watch our soccer superstars play, and I know if I was in a bind, you’d do the same for me if you could.”
“Just let me say thanks again.I’d have had to leave early or risk getting home late, so I appreciate the lift.”
“Is your car going to be out of commission for long?”
I shrugged.“I’ll have to get it towed tomorrow.I have no idea what’s wrong with it.”I hoped it was something simple, because I didn’t have money saved up for car repairs and I was still paying off the credit card for our last emergency repair of the roof.
“I’m happy to pick you up for soccer games.”She glanced in the rearview mirror at the boys in the back seat.“Barney raced through getting ready when I told him we were giving you guys a ride.Saved at least ten minutes of me nagging him to get his shoes on and grab his water bottle.”
It was nice of her to say that, but I couldn’t abuse her generosity.I’d have to think of something, if the car was going to be out of commission for a while.
When I tried to carry her chair after we’d gotten to the field, she frowned at me.
“Mia, just let it go.This really isn’t a big deal unless you make it one.”Since I was obviously making her uncomfortable, I did my best to be normal.As if I’d driven myself, or we carpooled all the time.
I was able to thank her again when she dropped us off, but I was determined to find a way to get around without putting her out.I hoped the car wouldn’t be a problem to fix.Hoped itsomuch.
Justin
I made it through the first couple of days with my babysitter, relieved each time she left for the day.I didn’t do anything she couldn’t have reported back on, but I still felt more comfortable on my own.I wasn’t sure if it was me being a hermit, or if there was something to all the little things that rubbed me the wrong way.
The team had been worried about me after I hit Alek, but after I cut my wrist they decided I needed someone physically on hand.Did they really think it had been a suicide attempt?I’d slipped with the bread knife while trying to slice a bagel.The cut wasn’t deep, and my other wrist was in a cast, but they’d reacted strongly.Maybe they were just looking for an excuse, so they could tell Cooper his idea wasn’t going to fly and they could start dismantling the team for a rebuild.
I really didn’t want to start over with another team.
I braced myself when Marge knocked on the door the next day.I forced a smile as I let her in.
“So what are we doing today?”
Weweren’t doing shit, but I bit back the words.“I’m going to work out.Talk to my therapist.Same thing I do every day.”
“I’ll just check your hand.”I stretched it toward her.
And it might just have been my paranoia, but she lingered over my fingers, making unpleasant chills slide up my arms.I wanted to jerk my hand away from her.
She finally released me.“Everything’s good.I’ll send that information to the team.”
I nodded and headed to the basement, ready to lose myself in a workout.I shoved headphones in, not because I needed the music but to avoid conversation.I was mostly able to forget she was there, but as soon as I pulled out the headphones she hit me with questions.How did I feel, was there any pain, did I want to shower?
“It’s good.I’ll shower and do my session upstairs.”And I escaped.
My therapist wanted to talk about my meeting with Dad, of course.He thought the boxes in my head where I locked things up were a way I avoided pain.And that to heal, in his words, I had to let myself feel the negative emotions.I understood the concept of no pain, no gain, but this was a lot different than pushing through drills.
He talked about counting to ten and deep breaths when the anger surfaced.I hadn’t had an anger problem till the Denny thing, but he cautioned that it could be a long-term issue if I didn’t deal with all the shit that had happened.I could honestly say I hadn’t been angry with Dad, just…disappointed, but I’d try whatever he told me to.The team was going to get the best damned report possible about my mental stability.
I was glad when our session was over.And in the spirit of not hiding or burying things, I messaged Jess that I’d talked to Dad.She called right away.
“So this is how to get your attention,” I teased.
“Admit it.This isn’t normal behavior for my brother.You’re more likely to stick your head in the sand.”