“Not for me until I’m done with hockey.That’s too much pressure.”
“And her?”It wasn’t good if the two parties in a relationship had different expectations.As I knew from experience.
“She’s not interested in serious at all.I have another few years max before I’m done, and while I’m in Toronto we’re helping each other out.”A smile lifted the corner of his mouth.
I wondered if he was more involved than he admitted, but I wasn’t going to pry about any relationships.“You wouldn’t stay in Toronto?After hockey, I mean.”
He shrugged.“I don’t have any ties there beyond the team.I’ll probably end up back in California.”
Maybe his ex knew that and did want to get back with him.Her chances weren’t good.People split up for solid reasons.Maybe, if you were like Ducky and his girlfriend, it was other people that created the problems.And if you cut those people out, you could make it work.That wasn’t the usual.The issues that broke you up were unlikely to go away.
He shot me a glance.“What about you?Will you stay in Toronto or come back to BC?”
I stared out the passenger window, noting changes since I lived near here.“Ask me after I’ve dealt with my grandmother’s place.”
His eyebrows shot up.“That’s what you’re here for?”
I didn’t normally share my shit with people.Too much of it was already public fodder after what happened with Sharleen.And the Denbrowski Ponzi case.But maybe Fitch could relate, and I was trying to be different.Burying everything down deep and not saying anything had resulted in the cast on my hand.
“I have some ghosts to lay to rest.We’ll see how it goes.”
He shot a glance my way.“Any of these ghosts female?’
My mother, for sure.But memories of Mia had started to intrude as we got closer to the house.The arena where I’d played, the school we’d gone to, the diner we’d eaten at after games or classes.Reminders of how much we’d been in love.Seemed there were feelings there I’d need to deal with as well.Fuck.“Yep.”
The GPS gave the final instruction and we pulled into the driveway.
“This is the house your grandmother left you and Jess?”
I nodded.I tried now to imagine what it looked like to Fitch.
A solid, two-story building, it had good bones, even if it hadn’t been updated for at least a couple of decades.The white paint needed doing, and the garage was looking unused, since her car hadn’t moved for years.The flowers weren’t the same as they’d been when Grandma took care of them, but it didn’t look too bad.I’d been paying someone to take care of it since before Grandma had to go into a home, so it was kept up, but it wasn’t the same as when someone was living in the place.
Still, just being here calmed me.This had been our safe space, me and Jess’s.“We spent most of our lives here.Mom and Dad used to travel a lot.This is my childhood home, more than anyplace else.”
“It looks nice.”
I nodded again.Not big or fancy, but comfortable and welcoming, at least to me.My grandmother had made it that way.I wasn’t sure how I’d feel, staying here without her.Fitch would be here for the next couple of days, which would be nice.And not just because of my hand.
I reached over to open the car door with my left hand, carefully, and got out, stretching after the long hours of travel.I ran the fingers of my left hand through my hair, in need of a cut.With that and the beard, I might not get recognized.Fitch went to the trunk to gather our bags while I climbed the steps to the veranda.
I unlocked the door, turning the handle and shoving it open.
The living room was on the right-hand side.A fireplace stretched across the far wall, with a big bay window to the front yard on the right.On the left was the dining room, large enough for the table that could seat eight comfortably.Across the back of the house was a big kitchen looking over the yard where we spent most of our outside time.Grandma used to have a vegetable garden.We’d had to work on weeding that when we were kids.
Fitch walked in with a couple more bags.“Where should I take these?”
“Upstairs,” I said.“Pick any room you want.”
He narrowed his eyes.“I’ll drop the bags in the hall.We can worry about rooms later.”
I didn’t want to sleep in my childhood bedroom—too many memories of Mia.But taking over Grandma’s room felt wrong, and Jess’s room still felt like hers.
I walked through to the kitchen, opening the back door to let air move through.No signs of the last visit with Mom and Dad remained—the cleaner had taken care of that.I checked the fridge, and the grocery order I’d requested had been delivered and put away.Having money was convenient.It didn’t solve every problem, but it did mean I had food and a clean house.
Fitch came back into the room.
“Want a drink?I’ve got—” I opened the fridge door again to check.“Water, milk, juice, and an assortment of local beer.”