“They want it fried. Cheese fries, grilled cheese, mozz sticks…”
“They don’t want to shit tomorrow. Got it.”
I chuckled. “Maybe it helps with the whole toy situation. I can’t imagine anything that big comingnearmy ass, but different strokes for different folks, I guess.”
“What exactlyisthe appropriate size for things coming near your ass?” Finn asked with a smirk. “Just so I can pocket that information away.”
“That’s for me to know and you to lie awake at night dreaming of.”
“I’ll never sleep again.”
He smiled with the comment, seasoning the potatoes as my stomach did a little flip.
Was he flirting with me?
That felt like flirting.
I told myself not to read too much into it. After the fight last night and the pancakes this morning, I had no idea where the hell we stood. Throw in that little ass slap, and I was more than just a little confused. But whatever we were now felt better than what we had been the first day we walked onto this boat — so I’d take it, no questions asked.
I ran out to check on the guests, laughing when they cheered at my announcement that Finn was awake and creating a cheesy paradise for them. When I slid back into the galley, I found Finn staring at what he’d assembled so far with a frown like he was making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.
He was twisting a ring on his right pinky finger.
My breath stalled out at the sight.
His grandma’s ring.
He’d told me about it one morning as we had coffee on the dock in Greece, our feet swinging beneath us as we watched the sun rise higher over the diamond blue water.
“I don’t know any other guys who wear a pinky ring,” I say, nodding to the simple gold band gleaming from where he holds his coffee mug.
“Ah,” he says, smiling down at it. He wears his exhaustion on his face and somehow it makes me even more attracted to him. I wish we could spend the day snuggled in a hotel bed. “Me granny’s.”
“Really?” I reach out for his hand, and he lets me inspect the ring closer. “That’s so sweet.”
“She left it to me when she passed, along with her best cookware. She didn’t have much in the end, since she’d moved in with us, but… she knew I’d appreciate the little she did have.”
“It’s really nice that you honor her memory by wearing it.”
He cracks his neck, growing quiet before he takes a sip of his coffee. “One day, I hope I can do more.”
I hadn’t understood what he meant by that then, and our radios had gone off in the next instant, our captain calling a crew meeting.
Now, I knew he meant the restaurant he’d yet to tell me about at that time.
His words battled through the fog of the alcohol from the night before, though I struggled to remember it all clearly.
I didn’t want to ruin what we had.
I thought if I had a grand plan… you’d come with me.
If I were a more confident woman, maybe I would have. Maybe Gisella would have if she were in my spot then. But Finn had triggered me, even if it wasn’t his intention. He’d made me feel the way my father did, like my career wasn’t important, like my dreams weren’t valid.
And worst of all, him leaving me in the end confirmed my deepest fear.
That I wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough to stay for, to change course for, to be honest with, to fully let in.