I knew the producers had to be happier than toddlers with fresh containers of Play-Doh.
Leah had tumbled into the crew quarters when we were all changing into our polos, breathless, eyes wide. “Uh… Em? I need you to come look at something.”
She’d dragged me to the primary’s cabin, where Nicole’s luggage lay open like a crime scene. Among the designer dresses and strings that made up her swimsuits, if you could call them that, was… a weapon.
In the form of a dildo so large and so aggressively pink, it looked like it belonged in a museum — or a horror film.
Leah and I just stared at it, slack-jawed, until Bernard poked his head in to see what had us mesmerized. One glimpse and he was howling, and then Leah put on gloves and winced as she carefully laid the thing out on the nightstand along with a bottle of lube like they were a tray of chocolates. That had me and Bernard laughing even harder, until we were both gasping for breath and clutching our sides.
And that was the vibe all day.
The crew was buzzing from the energy the guests brought on board, everyone wearing smiles — in fact, the guests wearingnothingbutsmiles as they sunbathed on the top deck. Dinner was flawless, the Studio 69 theme landed perfectly with mirror balls hanging over the table and disco-themed cocktails glowing in neon colors. Finn’s tasting menu blew everyone away, from the decadent lobster and caviar bites to the playful chocolate fondue fountain at the end.
“Finn! Marry me!” Nicole had shouted across the table, licking melted chocolate off her fingers.
“Sorry, angel,” Finn had called on his way back to the galley. “Already taken.”
Gisella had beamed at that, the guestsoohingandawwingwhile I busied myself re-filling drinks and dutifully ignored the way my ribs constricted.
The party raged long after dinner, the deck turning into a glittering karaoke lounge under the stars. They sang 70’s hits so badly the dolphins probably swam for quieter waters, and they drank enough champagne to have them dancing in nothing but sequined underwear — though I doubted they needed any booze to reach that level of bravado.
It was after midnight when they began to quiet, and I was aching for my bed and a good night’s rest. I was tidying up their glasses and wiping down surfaces, just biding my time until the last of them headed off to bed.
But suddenly, Nicole gasped from where she lounged on the luxe cream sofa in the main salon. “Ember! We need snacks!”
Mark was still up with her, along with one of her girlfriends, Megan, and her brother-in-law, Luke. They all gasped in sync, clapping at the revelation, and I internally groaned while plastering on my best smile.
“Of course. Finn already prepped some for you. Let me go grab them.”
I ducked into the galley, stifling a yawn as I pulled out the trays Finn had put together earlier in the day — a gorgeous midnight spread of crudités, charcuterie, fruit, chips, and dips.
But when I returned, Nicole pouted, Megan picking up one of the pieces of fruit with a wrinkled nose and a very serious frown.
“No, no,” Nicole said, shaking her head. “We needsnacks, Ember. Grilled cheese. Nachos. Cheese fries. Mozzarella sticks.”
“Basically anything dripping with hot cheese,” Mark chimed in on a laugh, throwing his arm around his wife. “My babylovessteamy, wet, hot—”
“Got it!” I said with an uncomfortable laugh, already on my way to the galley. “Your wish is my command. Do you need any refills before I get to work?”
Luke lifted a half-full bottle of champagne. “Don’t you worry about us, darling.”
I hoped my smile didn’t reek of exhaustion as I nodded and excused myself, and as soon as I made it to the galley, I let out a long sigh.
Fuck my life.
I didn’t want to wake Finn. He’d kicked his ass all day between the welcome aboard snacks, the fresh lunch, and the multi-course dinner. He’d had to cook for the crew in between, too.
We all needed sleep, but he needed it most.
Besides, how hard could cheese fries be?
It was fine.
I could do this.
I hummed a little to myself as I started pulling out ingredients, checking them off in my mind as I thought of everything I needed to bring this cheese parade to life. The worst part was that we didn’t have frozen fries I could just pop in the oven. No, Finn made everything from scratch, which meant I was going to have to figure out how to do the same.
Thank God for Google.