One hundred percent.
Finn pauses, frowning.
FINN
What episode did you say this was for again?
The groans of a crew sharing mutual hangover woes carried through the crew mess like the wails of ship-wrecked ghosts.
I could barely stomach the coffee I very much needed as I wrapped up the interview with the production team. They wanted to get some reactions to the crew night out. I imagined they also wanted to capture how miserable we all were today on camera.
Brilliant jerks.
I escaped the interview mostly unscathed; although, they did question me about why I slept in the guest cabin. They also reminded me that every word between me and Finn last night had been caught on camera — but I dutifully ignored that point. My conversation with Finn had already played on repeat in my head all night long. I didn’t need the production crew to remind me of it, too.
I ducked into my cabin just long enough to swap my pajamas for my uniform — crisp polo, tailored shorts, hair slicked back into a bun. The boat was already in good shape after the work we’d done before heading out last night, but there was still plenty to tackle before the next guests arrived. We’d need every minute of the morning to make sure every surface gleamed and every pillow was perfectly fluffed.
And I’d need every bit of distraction work would offer to not think about Finn.
I didn’t think it was possible, but I felt even more confused and unsettled after all he’d confessed. Suddenly, he’d given power to the voice inside me that had always wanted to believe he gave a shit. All this time, I’d thought he was a player, that he’d just said and done what was needed to get me in his bunk for a season.
Even when it felt wrong to think it.
Even when, deep down, I felt I was wrong about that.
Maybe I just thought it was safer to feel angry and scorned than to admit that I’d been so deeply hurt.
Now, after last night, I had no fucking ideawhatto feel.
Fortunately, my cabin was empty when I popped in to get changed. Gisella was likely on deck already and Finn in the galley, but I wondered if he’d slept here with her last night since I had been in the guest cabin.
I caught myself looking at the rumpled sheets of the top bunk for a beat too long before I grabbed my radio, strapping it to my belt and heading for the crew mess. I needed sustenance to make it through the day.
“Mornin’,” Cameron greeted me gruffly from where he was already devouring a plate of scrambled eggs.
“Good morning. How are you feeling?”
“Not my best,” he admitted, pointing his fork at the plate of eggs in front of him. “This is helping, though. And Cheffy made baked beans for me. Absolute angel, he is.”
“I could go for a greasy cheeseburger right about now,” I said, then grabbed a plate and started shoveling eggs and breakfast potatoes onto it. “But eggs will do, I guess. I—”
My next thought flew out of my head like a bird from an open cage, eyes catching on a plate of food I didn’t expect to see.
“Aye, I don’t know what Cheffy was thinking with those,” Cameron said around a mouthful of eggs. “Who the hell wants something sweet when they’re hungover?”
I swallowed, heart thumping hard against my chest. “Me, actually.”
I just barely whispered the words, my gaze still fixated on the plate.
Cameron shrugged. “Well, I’d wager you’re the only one in this crew, so eat up. They’re all yours.”
I covered my mouth with one hand as a smile slowly spread on my lips. I felt dizzy with the simple kind of giddy joy that can only come from a reborn memory.
“You’re kidding. Pancakes?”
I bite my lip and nod as Finn shakes his head at me. “What? They’re delicious! Especially banana ones. Those are my favorite.”
“Alright, Jack Johnson.”