EMBER
Let’s do it.
PRODUCER
What were you feeling as you walked up to Sinking Sun for the first time?
EMBER
When I see Sinking Sun for the first time, all I can think is how excited I am. There’s something so exhilarating about the start of a new season — all fresh with possibilities. The sun is shining, the breeze is cool and pleasant, and I have eight weeks of fun to look forward to. I mean… we’re in freaking Italy. It’s gorgeous here. I know it’ll be hard work, sure — but yachting is a blast. It’s why I chose it as my career. Well, that and the money, of course.
PRODUCER
How did it feel to be reconnected with Captain Gary?
EMBER
Walking onto the boat and finding Captain Gary in the bridge makes my heart soar. He’s by far my favorite captain I’ve worked with. He’s just so goofy and fun while also being stern enough to run a tight ship. I’m ecstatic to show him my chops as chief stew. This is my opportunity to solidify my new role, and I’m ready to take it.
PRODUCER
And how did you feel when Finn showed up?
Ember swallows, drinks water, smiles weakly.
EMBER
I don’t suppose there’s a next question option.
PRODUCER
Take your time.
EMBER
I never thought I’d see Finn Pearson again.
Long pause. Ember shifts in her chair, stares at shoes, lifts gaze back to producer.
EMBER
And I think we all know how I felt about it, don’t you?
It was the worst-timed wedgie of my life.
Not only was it as hot as Satan’s armpit, making sweat slide down my spine and into that lovely place where my underwear had decided to get real cozy with my backside, but I was also surrounded by cameras.
Therefore, there was no picking of this wedgie. I had no choice but to plaster on a smile and endure it.
One camera captured my profile at a distance, the man holding the behemoth of equipment following my every step. Another was down the dock at the foot of the gangway that led to the yacht I’d call home for the next eight weeks. Even though that lens was twenty yards away at the moment, I knew it was zoomed in, knew it was likely capturing every bead of sweat collecting at my hairline.
This wasClose Quarters, after all — a reality TV show about the people just crazy enough to work the long, manic hours required to run charter yachts.
I’d heard of the show before they asked me to be on it, but I’d never watched a single episode — partly because I didn’t really have time to watch television, and partly because I had a feeling it would piss me off at the way it misrepresented my career. But before I would agree to their offer, I knew I needed to watch at least one season of the show.
And that was all it took for me to know I was right.
The yachting seasons they showed onClose Quarterswere shorter than what a crew would usually work, and each member was hand-picked by producers with the intention of stirring the pot once everyone was on board. It was common for the stars of the show to have worked together in the past, to have some previous drama from other seasons, or to be the complete opposite of one another in a way that would drive them mad. There were stewardesses with zero experience, green deck hands who did more damage than assisting when docking, and chefs with tempers and a short fuse.