No one could unlock me when he still held the key.
He kissed me like a man possessed — like he hated me for making him want it, like he’d punish me with pleasure just for tempting him. My back hit the wall again and I didn’t fight. I let him pin me, let him take, let myself fall, mouth greedy and open, hands grasping for more, more, more—
And then reality broke through the haze.
I broke away, panting, shoving at his chest until we were an arm’s length apart.
Finn let me put the space there, his eyes wild, chest heaving as he strained to pull his hands off me. His fingers curled into fists at his sides like he had to use all his willpower not to touch me again. My heart ached for him the second we were separated.
A hundred words rushed through my mind, each desperate to be the ones I’d pluck and use to put together a sensible sentence:we have to stop, we can’t do this, you have a girlfriend, there are cameras watching.
But my body overrode the system, and I launched myself back into his arms.
The next kiss was harder.
Desperate.
Worse.
Better.
I whimpered at the feel of his body surrounding mine, brows folding together as I fought to understand what I wanted. I pulled him into me one second and then shoved at him the next, but this time he wrapped his arms around me — holding me steady and firm as if he could keep me safe when we were the very thing that was dangerous.
“I’m glad the restaurant failed,” he murmured against my lips before he was kissing me even harder. “You hear me? I’d take the pain of losing it a thousand times over if the outcome was the same. Because I lost that dream, but then I found my way back to you, and I realized that dream doesn’t mean shit if you’re not a part of it.”
“Finn,” I breathed against his lips, but another kiss stole my protest.
“I tried to fight it, this pull between us, but I’m helpless against it and I think you are, too. I can’tstay out of your business, Firefly. Because my business is you. Everything you say, everything you do — I’m tapped into it. I’m hanging onto every word. I’m silently begging for your eyes to find mine in a crowded room, for you to come close enough for me to make up some fecking excuse to touch you.”
I was going to combust. The combination of his words and his mouth as it slid from my lips to my throat and along the line of my jaw and back again was going to take me all the way out.
“We can’t,” I spoke the truth, and yet I held onto him with more fervor, my hands betraying my words. “It’s wr—”
“Wrong? No. Fuck that. Don’t you say that because I know you don’t believe it. You know it’s not true. This? You and me?” His hands cradled my face, forcing me to look at him, and I swore I died and was born again in the depth of his sea-green eyes. “This is the only thing that’s right.”
I shook my head even as my hands weaved into his hair and held him close.
“It’s why we can’t fight it,” he said, his forehead falling to mine. “Why we never could. We were doomed from the day we walked onto that boat and saw each other again when we thought it was over. What’swrongis us being apart. What’s wrong is me pretending anyone could ever matter more than you. What’s wrong is you pretending you weren’t just thinking of me the entire time you let him kiss you. There’s no tattoo or piercing you can get to erase me, Em, and I’ll never drink myself over you.”
Another bruising, passionate kiss had my knees giving out, the weight of me falling into him as I surrendered even before I could find the words to say so.
“The cameras,” I tried.
“Don’t care.” His mouth was on me again, and I was losing my already fragile grasp on what was right. “I’m so fecking tired of fighting my feelings for you because of what other people might think. I’ll take the blame. I’ll be the bad guy.” He kissed me harder, shaking his head as his hands tore at my hair, my skin, like he was afraid I’d disappear in the next breath. “Just let me have you again and I swear I’ll do anything it takes to keep you.”
A broken sound ripped from my throat, but it was cut short by another kiss, by Finn sweeping me up as if he could shelter me from all the consequences of our choices. I was dizzy from his words and the all-consuming rush ofyescoursing through me like the best high of my life, but I was also desperately trying to hold on to my morality.
“Gisella,” I finally managed, and the sound of her name was like a shotgun blast. Finn froze, and I swallowed, hand at his chest and putting space between us while I had the chance. My eyes floated up to meet his. “We can’t…” I shook my head. “Thisis wrong. We can’t do this to her. You have to make it right. You have to end it with her if we—”
“I already have.”
Finn’s throat constricted with the words just as my heart constricted with their implication.
I frowned, head tilting to the side, but before I could question what the hell that meant, there was a burst of noise from around the corner.
The music from the club spilled out into the night air along with the distinct sound of our crew members, and panic seized me by the throat.
“Go,” Finn said, nodding toward the streetlamp as he dipped farther back into the shadows. “I’ll catch up.”