But it was like I was watching someone else dancing, I was so disconnected.
What was wrong with me?
Eli was everything I should want. Gorgeous. Kind. Confident. Fun. He wanted me and he was showing me that. He didn’t have a fucking girlfriend — which was a big plus considering where my brain wanted to go.
I was still stuck in a memory I couldn’t crawl out of.
And alcohol or not, I found myself wondering if Finn was watching.
I told myself not to look.
I put all my willpower into smiling with Eli, into mirroring his movements with my own and staying in the present moment with him. I tried rationalizing with that very foolish, very loud voice inside my head.
But a few minutes was all I got before I folded like a house of cards.
My gaze drifted to the bar, to the far right where I knew he’d been, and sure enough… there Finn was.
Sitting with that same drink in his hand.
Watching.
His eyes weren’t half-lidded or distracted now. They were on me — locked in, challenging, burning. Like he knew exactly what I was doing. Like he was daring me to keep going.
Gisella was gone. Bernard, too. It was just Finn left at the bar. And without any threat of someone seeing, I found it impossible to tear my gaze away.
And for the first time all night, I ignited.
It was absolutely unhinged behavior, grinding against Eli with my eyes on Finn. I hadn’t felt an ounce of electricity from Eli alone, but now, I was molten. Sweat pricked the back of my neck, my skin flushing, heart racing out of my chest.
I should have dragged my gaze from his.
Instead, I gave him something to watch.
I turned back to Eli with new fire in my veins. My hands slid up his chest, slow and deliberate, curling around his neck. He grinned, surprised at the sudden shift, and before he could say a word— I kissed him.
It was an awkward clang of teeth at first, but then his mouth opened to mine instantly, like he’d been waiting for it, like he’d been dreaming of it. His hands roamed as our tongues tangled, the kiss deep and messy and hot. But I knew I didn’t feel that heat from the man kissing me.
It was the one watching us from across the bar who held the torch.
A sudden jerk of Eli’s shoulders had us breaking apart. Cameron practically climbed on his back like a monkey, ruffling his hair as Eli laughed and spun him around. Leah grabbed me by the arm, and I leaned into her in a fit of giggles before Elidropped Cameron to the ground and snatched me by the waist, pulling me into him again.
“Damn,” he said, his tipsy eyes dragging the length of me. “Where’ve you been hidingthat?”
I just smiled, pulling back, fingertips trailing down his chest as my heart continued to race.
“I need to hit the ladies’ room,” I said. “I’ll be back.”
He held onto my hand even as I walked away, and I laughed when he finally released me and then dropped to his knees and pretended like he was praying to God. Cameron played into his dramatics, and even Bernard joined in, the two of them fanning Eli as he faked passing out and they carried him off to the bar.
Leah looped her arm through mine to join me in the bathroom, but before we made it, I pulled to a stop.
“I actually think I just need some air,” I said over the music, squeezing her wrist. “I’ll catch you back out there?”
She nodded, a happy, drunk smile on her face, and then she made a beeline for the restrooms and I took the first exit outside.
The door was only shut for thirty seconds before it banged open behind me.
I didn’t have to look to know who it was.