With the last of the hot water, they finish washing me up. Their hands are soothing and sweet now that the heat has burned through me again. Cash washes my hair, careful not toget shampoo in my eyes, and Everett lifts each arm to clean them, before kneeling down and washing down my legs as well.
Before I know it, I’m clean and being dried off with warm towels, letting them pass me back and forth until I’m dry enough to take back to my nest.
They wrap me up in soft blankets, talking quietly to each other with words I’m too out of it to pay attention to properly. Everett’s fingers return to my hair, and he braids it back. His hands are surprisingly careful for someone so big, and I nuzzle into his touch, the only way I can convey my gratitude right now.
My limbs feel heavy, and every part of me is worn out from everything. My eyes drift shut before he’s even halfway through with my hair, and I fall asleep with the scent of them all surrounding me.
Chapter 31
Lincoln
I wake to the quiet sound of Harper’s breathing, soft and gentle next to me. Her body is warm and just as soft where it rests against mine, and after a bit I notice her scent has shifted again. It’s no longer thick with the fevered desperation of her heat, but now calmer and more settled somehow. Like an exhaled sigh of relief.
It’s the fourth morning since her heat started, and the difference is unmistakable. I’m sure her body is still sore and tender, and clearly wrung out after what we put her through and what her heat demanded of her, but the haze in her eyes lifted more day by day, and when she opens her eyes and looks at me now, I can tell she’s fully present for the first time in days.
She squirms against me, more getting comfortable than seeking any kind of friction, and I tighten my arm around her, careful not to press too hard into any sore spots.
The three of us have taken care of her as best we could—feeding her, cleaning her up, and fucking her until she was too boneless to think—but this is different. All of that was coasting on a haze of passion and need, the desperate desire from Harper and our instinctual want to take care of her.
Now we’re in the aftermath of all that, and it’s uncharted territory.
“Lincoln.” My name spills from her lips on a soft murmur, her voice rough and quiet in the early morning light.
I press a soft kiss to her temple, not caring that I probably still smell like sweat and sex. We all do, to be fair.
“Good morning,” I murmur back. “You okay?”
She nods. “I. I just wanted to say thank you. Not just for that night… or any of the others, but for everything. For taking care of me. For being there when I needed someone the most.”
There’s a look in her eyes that makes something in my chest ache. It’s like she’s surprised almost, that she wasn’t left alone with her desperation. Or that she’s overly grateful because she thinks it was some kind of burden for us to do this for her.
“Of course,” I tell her, putting as much sincerity in it as I can. It’s the only thing that makes sense to say. Of course I took care of her. Of course I stayed.
“You know…” Harper trails off and then sucks in a breath. “For the first time in a long time, I feel alive. Like I’m actually here in my body again, and the numbness I’ve been carrying has finally cracked open enough to let something real through.”
That makes me pause, and I’m quiet for a while, taking that in.
It’s a vulnerable thing to say. The kind of thing that she definitely would not have told any of us when we first met her. It might just be that she’s too exhausted from everything to keep it to herself, or it might be more than that.
I like to think it’s the latter. And her honesty makes me want to tell a truth of my own.
“I feel the same way.”
That’s not something I say lightly. And ordinarily, it’s not something I would ever admit out loud. It half slipped out, compelled by Harper being so open right now.
“I told you about my friend, who died in that fire, and ever since then…” I break off with a sigh. “Ever since then it’s been like everything is static. Or like I’ve been underwater and the world was just muffled noise around me. I couldn’t really engage with anything on a real level, and I didn’t even know if I wanted to. Some days I was just going through the motions of living because I knew my friends, my family, my pack would notice if I just… gave up. And I did think about giving up sometimes. Until now, nothing really felt like anything real. And then you came along and everything’s different now.”
A silence stretches between us for a while after that, but it’s not awkward. It’s full and heavy with the things we’ve just said and the things that are still unsaid, but it’s good. It feels like progress, instead of hiding.
When I look down at Harper, she’s looking up at me, a small, real smile on her face, and it knocks the breath out of me.
She’s so fucking beautiful, and she’s here, curled up in my arms, still smelling like the aftermath of everything we did to her.
All of a sudden, it’s not enough to just lie here with her. I feel the need to move, to do more burning under my skin, so I give in to it. I scoop her up into my arms, ignoring the startled noise she makes at the sudden movement.
I carry her into the shower, settling her down on the bathroom counter so I can get the shower running and heating up.
It’s not even about sex right now. I just have this need to take care of her. I want to help wash away the last few days and make her feel clean and grounded again.