“The anger inside me is boiling!” Sinner shouted, clasping Derek on the shoulder to keep himself upright.
“What? You think this is a joke? You think I would lie about this? I’ll kill him right now! I’ll gut him like a fish!”
The laughter turned even louder, and the tears streamed down Sinner’s face. “Man, you should take this on the road. That’s hilarious.”
“I mean it!” I shouted. “I’ll go right now! I’ll take them all out!”
The laughter finally started to die as Sinner wiped the tears from his cheeks. Derek was bright red, still trying to control himself, but it was too late. Neither of them believed me.
“Listen, how about this? We’ll do Rock, Paper, Scissors for who gets the honor of not killing one of them,” Sinner suggested.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Because you think I won’t go all Rambo on them?”
“That, and I want to give you a fair shot.”
“I didn’t agree to this,” Derek scoffed. “I’m still taking one out.”
“It should be my choice,” I grumbled. “It’s my life on the line.”
“Which should mean you want answers more than anyone else, but sure, we’ll make a game out of it,” Sinner said, holding out his fist.
“Fine,” I muttered, holding out my fist.
It wasn’t right. I should get first dibs on taking them out, but they did save my ass, so I suppose it was only fair.
“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” I shouted, holding out paper.
Sinner held out rock.
“Yes!” I shouted, pumping my fists in the air. “I win. You lose!”
“Wait, wait, wait! That’s not right. It’s best out of three.”
“What? You never said anything about that. You can’t just throw out rules now that you lost.”
“I didn’t lose!” he shot back. “Everyone knows it’s best out of three. Always has been. Always will be.”
“He’s right,” Derek agreed.
I couldn’t believe this. I was losing at my own game, and not because I was playing badly, but because they were ganging up on me.
“Fine, you want to cheat? Let’s go again. I’ll kick your ass this time, and the time after that!”
“Sure, you will,” Sinner chuckled, tossing out his fist and taking a fighting stance. “Are you ready for this?”
“Oh, I’m ready,” I sneered. “I’m so ready, I’m gonna kick your ass and toss you into next year.”
“Yeah? If you don’t back off, I’m gonna punch you in the face!”
I circled him, holding my fist out with my hand beneath it. “Ooh, brilliant comeback from the genius over here!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was talking to someone who didn’t understand basic concepts.”
That didn’t even make sense. “Basic concepts of what?”
“Of me punching you in the face!” he shouted, continuing to circle me.
“Ooh, I’m really scared now!” I laughed.