“Isn’t that enough?” I snapped. “Do you have any idea the havoc you’re wreaking on my cock? There’s no thinking straight when I’m around you!”
A little line of wrinkles appeared between her eyes as she cocked her head at me. “When you’re with me…do you think of other things?”
“Like what I’m going to do to you next? All the fucking time.”
“No, I mean…” Frustrated, she turned away from me. “I mean, do you think of other things. Besides sex.”
“Never,” I swore. “All I think about is being inside you.”
God, was that my voice? It sounded so rough and desperate.
What I thought was the perfect answer seemed to disappoint her. She almost looked sad, and I didn’t understand that. Wouldn’t she be happy that I was only thinking about her, and the next time I could fuck her?
“We should get ready, I guess,” she smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She looked sad, but I didn’t get it. Why would she be disappointed that I wanted her all the time?
“So, where are we going?”
Right, down to business so she could get back to her life. It made sense. She would want to get back to her small town, with her small town gossip and all the trappings that went along with it.
And that sent a shot of pain through my chest. Not that I expected her to want to be with me. After all, I was just some IT guy she met one night in Vegas. We had great sex, but I wasn’t the kind of guy she wanted. I didn’t ride a horse or know anything about a ranch. I liked adventure and excitement.
But there was a part of me that looked at the guys around me every day and wished that I could find the same thing they had. A woman to come home to at the end of the day. A family that I could spend Christmas with. Little kids jumping on me first thing in the morning, nailing me in the balls because their little knees land in just the perfect spot.
That was the fantasy, the thing every one of my friends had that I had yet to find. And I was beginning to doubt I ever would.
“What?” Krista asked, her brows pinched questioningly.
“Nothing. I was just…trying to figure out how we met.”
“Well, clearly, we met at my brother’s wedding.”
“It just wasn’t memorable,” I smiled, though it felt half-hearted.
Just like every other woman in my life, they took one look at me and moved on. I wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe I sent off some kind of vibe. Maybe all they saw was muscle, and assumed I was an idiot.
In fact, I was a fucking geek when I was a kid, more interested in computers than anything else. I had glasses and braces…and I wore suspenders. But I grew into my gangly arms and legs, started working out in the gym, and eventually ditched the glasses for contacts.
I became someone I was happy with. Women started noticing me, and for once, I had dates. Got my first blowjob. Had sex with a beautiful woman.
But that’s where it all ended, because no one ever wanted more from me.
And it would be no different with Krista.
“I should take a shower,” I muttered, moving past her.
“Sure.” She grabbed my hand as I passed, her face pulled down in a frown. “Is everything okay?”
“Of course,” I grinned.
And then I walked away because staring at something you could never have was just depressing.
18
KRISTA
The door clicked shutand I slumped down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Why did I always fall for men who were unavailable? I didn’t even know him that well. I shouldn’t even be thinking about this stuff.