“It’s fine. I know you’ve got a lot going on. I wanted to stop in and see you before I headed to work.”
I didn’t ask permission as I took the little peanut from her arms. She was so tiny and cute, and I was going to miss out on so much. I really hated that.
Tears clogged my eyes as I stared at my niece and thought of all the firsts I would miss. Rolling over, crawling, smiling…And through all of that, Lizzy would be alone.
“Hey, this is a good thing. No tears,” Lizzy said, wiping her own tears from her face.
I huffed out a laugh, sniffing loudly. “This is so stupid. What am I doing?”
“You’re following your heart. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I’m leaving you all behind. I’m going to miss so much.”
“But you’ll be with your husband,” she reminded me. “You have to do what’s best for you.”
I sighed in frustration. I hated not knowing what to do. “You have to promise me something.”
“Of course.”
“I need you to look after my investment.”
“You know I will, but Jeff will be fine.”
“I know, but I feel horrible. I’m just leaving it all in Jeff’s hands. I didn’t even talk to him about it first.”
“Well, he was handling everything anyway. You were really more of a silent partner.”
“I know, but I still feel horrible about it.”
Lizzy sat down on the bed, tugging me with her. “Krista, are you sure about this?”
God, how many times would people ask me that? “Not you, too.”
“I’m fine with whatever you want to do, but I just want to be sure this is what you want. You seem like…like you’re wobbling.”
“Because I am,” I laughed, running my finger along Willa’s cheek as she slept. She was such a good baby. “Am I making the right decision?”
“Only you can know that.”
I sighed, burying my face in Willa’s stomach and inhaling her scent. “He can’t be out here. His job is important to him. I can’t ask him to stay here.”
“Yes, you can. Your family is just as important. And I’m not saying that to pressure you one way or the other. I’m just reminding you that you have a say in things.”
“It wouldn’t be fair. I mean, first we need to know if we can even make it without guns and bombs and…weird friends in Superman costumes.”
She shot me a funny look.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know. He needs his work, and I need to know if this is something that will last. It makes more sense for me to move than for him to give up his job. I can always come home, but he might not be able to go back to his job if he leaves.”
“Do you really think that? He said they’re his family.”
“I really don’t, but this is the right move.”
“Then why do you look so depressed?”
Because I was. Because I didn’t want to leave any of this behind. Adventure was always something I wanted, but after experiencing it with Rob, the last thing I wanted was to move further into that life. Things may not be perfect here, but at least I wasn’t worried about getting shot or my husband going out on a dangerous job.
“Hey, anything else?” Rob asked, popping his head in the door.