“What?”
I snatched the phone out of his outstretched hand, scrolling through the menu. “Honeymoon special. That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Look below it.”
“In honor of our newlywed couple returning to town. Limited time offer.” Rolling my eyes, I tossed the phone on the bed. “Seriously, why don’t they just take out an ad in the paper?”
“I’m sure someone already thought of that.”
“Get dressed.”
“Me?” he said, acting surprised that I would want him to get out of bed and visit with my parents.
“Yes, you. It’s because you’re here that they even stopped by. What am I supposed to tell them? My husband is afraid of them?”
“I wouldn’t say that exactly, but why do I have to meet them when we’re only fake married?”
I stopped pulling on my pants and stared at him. “I’m sorry. Did you just say we’re fake married?”
I wasn’t so sure about that statement after hearing the way the words rolled off her tongue. “That sure sounded like the voice of a woman who’s really married,” he grumbled under his breath.
“Good catch. Now, get your ass out of bed and put on some clothes.”
“Fine,” he grumbled, bending over like he was in a ton of pain. “Ooh, that pulled. I’m not so sure it’s a good idea to get out of bed. I might rip my stitches.”
“After what you just did to me for the past six hours, I think you can handle walking and sitting just fine.”
“You know, you sure act like a real wife.”
“I’m practicing for when I really have to kick you out of bed in the morning.”
“I think I liked it better when we were pretending.”
“You can always go back to Pennsylvania alone,” I snapped. “If this is what marriage is going to be like with you, maybe we should just skip the whole thing.”
“I said I was coming, alright? Geez, you don’t have to nag.”
“Nag? You haven’t even seen me nag.”
“I’m not sure I want to,” he retorted.
I wasn’t about to stand here and argue with my fake husband. Either he would come out and meet his fake in-laws, or he would hide in here like a baby. Which option he chose would determine what happened from here on out.
Throwing open the door, I strode out into the living room and sat across from my parents, pretending everything was perfectly fine. “So, how have things been?”
“I think we should be asking you that. Michael had quite a bit to say about what happened while you were gone,” Dad said, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Well, it was interesting, that’s for sure.”
“And while you were gone, someone else had to fill in for you at work. I guess you think you’ll still get paid for those hours.”
“Ben! We just got here. Can you wait five minutes before scolding her like a child?”
“Well, maybe if she didn’t act like a child, I wouldn’t have to treat her like one.”
I sat there as they carried on with their conversation as if I didn’t exist. As if I couldn’t hear every sharp-tongued word my father said. As if none of it bothered me in the least.
“All I’m saying is that the girl needs to learn some responsibility!”