Centrium Group.
Whoever they were, they were the ones paying for the food, heating, and lights at the institution. I’d gotten a shift in this office just to find that out. That conversation between the unholy trinity the night Mira died would never leave my heart. I might forget it when I was being a good little patient and taking my pills, but I always remembered eventually. Someone was profiting off this place, and someone was paying the bills for it. Were they one and the same? Until I figured that out, I’d show up for my shift and dig into Hallow Hall’s secrets. Not that it had gotten me anywhere at all. I was stuck here. I couldn’t escape, and no one was coming to check me out. I had gaps in my memories, and sometimes, when I wasn’t able to skip the medication, I could go whole weeks without a single lucid thought. I would surface and find that a month had passed.
Lately, it had felt like I was doomed to spend my entire life here, forgetting things, trying to recover those memories, trying to leave and finding out I couldn’t.
I had no idea how to break that cycle. Centrium Group... Were they the ones selling the organs? Were they trafficking the babies?
“Hey there,bella.” Alonso, an orderly, appeared at the edge of the reception desk.
I gave him a quick smile. Alonso was one of the only people I could trust in this place. He wasn’t a nun or priest; he was just a local guy who was strong enough to force meds onto people and discreet enough not to run his mouth. Still, he wasn’t a sociopath, so he had an advantage over the rest of the men in Hallow Hall. He had no idea about the true business of the place.
“Hi.”
“Did you enjoy your day yesterday?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. Reminding me that he’d done me a favor.
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Why did you want the fire alarm tripped anyway? Just itching to get outside into the snow?”
“I love the fresh air, what can I say?” I gave him a winning smile. When I was clearheaded enough, I got Alonso to set off the alarm for me during my sessions with Benedict. The only person I saw every day and got my medication from was Benedict. Others simply lined up for a little paper cup of pills in the morning, but not me. I couldn’t be trusted.
He pulled his phone out and tapped the screen. My fingers itched to get a hold of it, but there was no point. In the beginning, I’d stolen phones a million times and called the only number I could remember since that morning with Vargas in the operating room, but I never let it ring. I was putting her in danger every time I reached out. I also refused her visit requests. I couldn’t see her sitting across from me and not go completely insane.
“What’s wrong? Lael giving you trouble?”
Alonso sighed. “She wants jewelry for her birthday, but I’ve got no ideas. Care to take a look?”
“Sure, but don’t tell her another woman picked it out. It ruins it,” I added quickly.
We scrolled through the store’s website together, and I pointed out some pretty items for his girlfriend. I could almost imagine it for a second. Going on a date, to a real restaurant, in a town. Getting a present and wearing it. Walking home down the café-lined street, tables out on the sidewalk, people laughing and talking with friends.
The simple nothingness of being an ordinary person.
Something I’d taken for granted until I’d come here.
Something I vowed that, one day, I’d never take for granted again.
If I ever got that chance . . .
That afternoon,I had therapy with Father Benedict, and of course, my medication. I didn’t plan on taking it. I was already gearing up to hide it. I’d gotten pretty good at keeping it under my tongue, and Benedict didn’t always check. If I could manage not to take it today, then that would be the third day without any. It had been a while since I’d gotten to the third day.
I followed Sister Vera to Benedict’s office just as the door opened and the man himself appeared.
His face was pale, and he seemed to be sweating.
“Come in, come in,” he cajoled.
I entered the office and immediately spied Lucifer sitting in one of the seats in front of Benedict’s crowded desk.
My hand rose before I could help it, and I crossed my chest fearfully. Massimo’s mouth tilted up in a bemused smirk.
Benedict jerked upright and issued a small yelp. We all turned and stared at him.
“Excuse me, Sister, Father,” he said, panting. “I seem to be a little off. I will leave the patient in Father Lucciano’s capable hands, since I must take care of some private business.”
The way he waddled off clenching his butt cheeks together made it clear his personal business was with the toilet.
Sister Vera seemed a little flustered as she ushered me farther into the office.