were turning like a wheel,
all at one speed,
moved by the Love that moves the sun and the other stars.”
Dante,The Divine Comedy
44
KATARINA
Iwoke to the sound of laughter. It felt foreign for a moment as I lay there, perfectly relaxed, in a criminally soft bed. A deep tone and a light, girlish one.
Massimo and Tatiana.
I sat up, hearing Paolo chime in about whatever was making both of them laugh so much downstairs.
I stared at the ceiling, painted with a lavish night sky and stars that somehow seemed to twinkle.
I felt exhausted despite having just woken up, but oddly energized, too. I felt sad about my mother. Just the thought of her triggered a deep ache in my heart, one that I felt sure wasn’t going to fade anytime soon. But I also felt at peace with it. The anger had passed. I felt so many things all at once, but most of all, I felt content to be where I was, exactly here. I was where I was supposed to be.
By the time I got downstairs, the chuckling had turned into full gales of laughter. They were in the kitchen and had been making pancakes, it seemed. There was flour on every surface, andbatter splattered around. Massimo was manning the stove, flipping pancakes with a confidence that saw two pancakes out of five on the floor. Paolo was frantically trying to catch them with a plate and Tatiana was already eating, watching them and laughing.
It was chaos. It was perfect.
“Kat!” Tatiana saw me first, bolting out of her chair to get to my side. She hugged my legs. “You slept for a long time.”
“I guess I was really, really tired.” I smiled at her and ruffled her hair. I felt Massimo’s gaze on my face, and weirdly, a frisson of nerves blossomed in my belly. Last night, I’d cried like my heart was breaking, and he’d simply held me. I didn’t remember the rest, I’d just woken up in his bed. There was a sudden awkwardness between us, or at least, I felt like there was. We’d left things horribly before Sergei had picked me up. Awfully. I’d left his dog tags on the bed and walked out. I’d left him. And despite that... he’d come for me when I needed him the most. He didn’t abandon me. He’d come in ready to burn the world down to reach me.
I searched my heart for the anger I’d felt when I’d found out about what he’d done. It was still there, but faded somehow. I felt lighter. Freer, somehow, of the heavy, dark emotions that had consumed me.
Tatiana tugged me toward the table. “We made you pancakes. I put the best ones on your plate.”
There was a plate on the table piled high with crepes. I met Massimo’s eyes as I sat down. He watched me steadily, his beautiful, dark eyes mysterious. I couldn’t read the emotion in them, but they were full of it, whatever it was.
Heat crept to my cheeks at his study. Suddenly, I felt flustered and painfully aware of my bedraggled state. God, I was a mess. I’d only ever known this man when I was a mess. He, on the otherhand, was perfect. I’d never thought I’d get used to him without his priest’s robes, but the man wore everything well. Even now, dressed in dark, loose pants and a black T-shirt, he was hard to look away from.
Paolo staggered to the table. “What can I make you to drink, Mrs. Lucciano?”
Mrs. Lucciano.
I cut a glance at Massimo, who just chuckled.
“You just couldn’t wait to call her that, could you?” he mused.
Paolo smiled. “Of course I couldn’t, because that is who she is.” He looked back at me. “Some of us around here were starting to worry that this man was going to die alone, that this house would never ring with the laughter of children?—”
“Enough, Paolo. Don’t forget, Katarina is going to Florence. Don’t pressure her,” Massimo called to his housekeeper, who stilled at the words.
I stopped, too, in the process of reaching for the honey.
“She is?” Paolo asked, echoing my own thoughts.
Massimo nodded. “She is, because that’s what she wants to do, and my wife gets to do all the things she wants to do. All of her choices are hers.”
I stared dumbly at the table, suddenly feeling tears gather against behind my eyes. His words split me down the middle. My heart swelled at the thought that he was letting me make my own choice and respecting it to the point of making sure it happened. That was the rational part of me. The other... felt like crying at the idea of being sent away. Go figure. What a mess I was.
“But when are you going? Am I going with you?” Tatiana asked.