I grinned at him. “Do I ever. Come inside.”
40
KATARINA
Iate dinner with Tatiana and then was forced to go back to my room while a staff member took her away. I was in my room for two minutes before I tried to open the door, only to find it locked.
My brain felt overwhelmed with all the information that had been dumped in it today, with finding out about Sergei, and Tatiana.
I didn’t know how to process it all. I kept raising my hand to my neck, searching for my necklace that wasn’t there. I missed it.
I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Above all, I missed him. Massimo. My devil. I’d been rash and impulsive, and grieving, sure... but I’d made a mistake.
Thoughts of my mother pressed in now that I was alone. I was still processing her death, but oddly, it didn’t hurt as much as it had earlier. The years of separation had numbed my feelings about her. The resentment and bitterness, wrapped up with love, had grown twisted in my mind. I’d loved her but I’d also hated her for allowing them to put me in Hallow Hall. I’d missed her, butI’d resented the fact that she had listened to my depressed request to stop visiting me.
And now she was gone, and we’d never be able to fix things. It would always be left unfinished. But then, wasn’t life often like that? Messy and complicated and not at all like you wished it would be? Wasn’t love like that? My love for Massimo was no different. Messy and complicated... but none of that made it any less real.
A tear fell, followed by another one, and another. That frozen feeling in my chest loosened more and more with every passing moment. The shock had worn off, and there was only sadness left.
I let myself cry there, in the house of the man who called me his daughter. Just when I’d lost my last relative, two new ones had appeared. It was disorienting. I’d wanted a family for so long, and this was how that simple prayer was answered?
A scraping sound from the door sent me to my feet. Was Sergei back already? The lock turned, and the door swung open.
I stared and stared. It wasn’t Sergei. It wasn’t his fiancée, Rada, or anyone I expected to see.
“Shut your mouth, Katarina, or you’ll catch flies in there,” Sister Vera said, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her.
I backed away, putting the bed between us.
“What are you doing here?”
“Surprised to see me?” Sister Vera asked, a smile playing around her lips.
“Just disappointed. I thought that maybe you’d died in the fire. I was planning your memorial and everything.”
“Hmm, I’m sure you’d have said lovely things to remember me by,” Vera snapped, as easily riled as always. She smoothed her expression and stared me up and down. “I see you haven’t changedinto the clothes that the director filled your wardrobe with. I told him it was a waste, but he is determined to spoil his eldest daughter.”
“Sister—”
“It’s just Vera now, no need to keep up the pretense. I haven’t worked for the Church for a long time.”
If Vera was dropping her mask of piety, it didn’t seem like anything good was about to happen.
“I see. So, why are you here?”
“Well, now that Hallow Hall is no longer—until it’s rebuilt—Sergei needed a hand with Tatiana. She can’t be allowed to run free around here, and Rada wouldn’t know how to properly discipline a child if her life depended on it.”
Her dislike of Rada was clear in her tone. Dislike and something else... envy.
“I can look after Tatiana. I’m here now.”
Vera chuckled. “Very funny. To think that you could look after anyone. You’re crazy, Katarina, don’t forget.”
“I’m not crazy.”
“Don’t forget that I know you. I’ve been there with you for three years. I know you.”
“No you don’t. I’m not the girl in Hallow Hall who you can drug up and abuse anymore.” Heat and anger rose in my chest and spilled out in my words.