The longing in my chest was a physical weight.
Opening my eyes, I took my phone from my pocket and opened the tracking app I’d paired with the discreet device on my dog tags.
The little blue dot glowed right where I stood. I approached the bed and saw them.
The chain of my tags caught the firelight when I picked it up. Her crucifix hung beside the tags. She’d even left that behind in her haste to get away from me.
I gripped the chain hard in my palm. Regret froze me in place. She was gone. She was gone and she would never come back, because I’d lied to her, kept things from her. I’d treated her just like the other men in her life who had done nothing but manipulate her.
In her eyes, I was the same.
“Mass,” Paolo said, wheezing, finally making it to the top of the stairs behind me.
He shuffled into the room as I whirled on him. I grabbed him by his lapels. He was so light, one hard push sent him into the wall. I slammed my hand against the doorframe just beside his head.
“Why did you let her leave? How could you just let her walk out, without the fucking tracker, no less?”
Paolo was composed in the face of my aggression. He stared me right in the eye.
“Do you think that restricting her freedom would have furthered your cause with her? Do you think she would love you back if you became everything shehated?”
I let out a bitter chuckle. “I’ve always been everything she hated. If you’d have kept her here, I could have?—”
“What? Tricked her? Found a convenient lie? Fooled her again? That’s not love, and that’s no way to start married life.” Paolo raised his chin, defiant.
“No way to start married life? How are we starting married life when she’s just left me and you watched her go?” I demanded.
The old fucker shrugged. “If you want to be her husband,reallybe her husband, no games... You need to let her come back to you. You need to let her choose you.”
I slammed my fist into the doorjamb again, wanting to smash it into Paolo’s face and only just resisting.
“Get out of here before I forget myself,” I rasped at him.
He pulled himself to his full, diminutive height, more dignified than I’d ever manage.
“Forget yourself away. You don’t scare me, Massimo. I know you. You’re not angry at me. You’re angry at yourself.”
I curled my hands into fists and tried to stop imagining wrapping my hands around Paolo’s throat and squeezing until his unwanted insights stopped.
“Thanks for the dime-store therapy. Get the fuck out of my sight.” I stepped back.
He took his time leaving.
Quiet surged into the room in his wake.
Her light was gone from my life.
And I was alone in the dark again.
Just like always.
“Have you gotten the information?”I said in lieu of a greeting when Giada called.
She sighed. “I’m doing well, thanks. How about you?”
“Giada. I need Blackwood’s address. He’s the fucker who got away, and I need to right that wrong.”
“I know, I know. You’re back to vengeance being the only thing you have. Wonderful.”