A nun walked down the aisle, and Lucy bustled over to her.
They spoke quietly as I stared up at the stained-glass window that I’d looked at every Sunday for years, when I was younger. The world had felt like a safer place then, before I’d known a place like Hallow Hall even existed. Now that I knew about the evil of the people who worked there, I couldn’t forget it. I was forever marked by that wickedness.
The sister walked away, and Lucy and her bodyguard talked softly. Lucy seemed upset.
I wandered toward them. “What’s wrong?”
Nina moved away, turning to face the door, giving us privacy.
Lucy seemed pale, her dark eyes bright. She watched me steadily, making me nervous.
“Seriously, what’s going on?”
“I asked that nun about your mother, since you said she used to come every day.”
I nodded. “Did she know something? Was she already here today?”
Lucy was quiet for a long, long moment, and when she spoke, her voice was soft. “She wasn’t here today. She hasn’t been here in a long time. The sister remembers her, though, she spoke very highly of her.”
“She changed churches? I guess after Vargas was excommunicated, maybe,” I rambled.
Lucy just watched me.
“What? You’re making me nervous.”
Her hands reached out and touched mine, threading our fingers together. “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just going to do it. I don’t want to lie to you. The sister remembered your mother, and she remembers what happened to her...”
“What happened to her?” I repeated, my heartbeat slowing down. “What happened?”
Lucy blinked, a tear appearing on her lashes, and I knew.
In my heart, in that second, everything changed.
“No,” I whispered softly, shaking my head like that could change reality. “No, it can’t be.”
Lucy took a deep breath. “She said she’s laid to rest here in the churchyard.”
I couldn’t stop shaking my head. “I don’t believe it. It’s a lie—show me.”
It took halfan hour to find her headstone. The snow had been falling for days since the terrible storm the night of the fire, and no one had cleared the headstones in the old graveyard. My mother’s final resting place was right before the wall met the woods behind the church. The world was still as I cleaned snow off the entire thing and confirmed it for myself.
Here lies Elena Dmitrova. A mother.
My attention caught on the date of her passing. I couldn’t stop staring at it. Two years ago? For two years, I’d been held hostage in Hallow Hall, believing it to be the only thing I could do to keep my mom safe. It had all been a lie. Not only had I been there two years longer than I’d needed to, but I’d missed being with her inthe end. Lucy had already called Giada to ask her to look into how it had happened. Cancer. She’d always hated going to the doctor and had avoided it at all costs. When she’d finally gone, it had been inoperable.
I sat on the ground beside the grave for hours. My feet and legs were frozen through, but none of it mattered. The only person in the world who had cared about me was gone.
“We should get you home,” Lucy said. She’d given me time alone with the grave for a while before returning to urge me to go and get warmed up.
I couldn’t stop staring at the name of my mother, written in stone.
“It’s too cold out here, Kat. You’ll get ill.”
“What does it matter? What does any of it matter anymore?” I mused. I couldn’t seem to cry. It was like the tears were frozen inside me and they wouldn’t thaw enough to fall. Maybe I’d feel better if they did, but right now, they burned inside my chest.
“Because she wouldn’t want you to get sick. Right or wrong, everything she did was what she thought was best for you, misguided or not.”
“And now I’ll never see her again. Now I have no one.” My words lashed at my heart. There was no emotion there. It had all been burned away.