I went into the room and let Paolo fuss over me, because honestly, he seemed happier that way. He tucked me into bed and put a white noise machine on that was discreetly hidden somewhere on the marble bedside table.
“You rest, and then Massi will be home later, and you can ask him your questions.”
I nodded, tired suddenly beyond belief.
Paolo lowered the heavy velvet drapes around the bed, so the light was dimmed, and then the sound of the door shutting softly let me know that I was alone.
The bed was beyond soft. Dreamy, honestly. I started to drift away almost immediately, before a creeping feeling of anxiety came over me.
Lying there, I felt suddenly like a prisoner. It wasn’t rational. It made no sense. Regardless, I sat up and opened the curtains of the four-poster bed. The room was serene and cozy. It wasn’t a prison.
I thought about going back to sleep but knew that I wouldn’t be able to before I proved to myself that I was free to leave here whenever I wanted.
I got up and padded to the door, my feet sinking into the plush rug.
I reached the door and turned the handle.
It didn’t budge.
I tried it again, twisting it this way and that. It didn’t move a single inch. I was locked in. Just like a prisoner. And just like that... I lost it.
Panic clawed up my throat and made it hard to breathe. My skin felt like it was going to crawl off. It was an involuntary reaction. A trauma response buried deep. I didn’t remember why it sent me off so violently, but my body clearly did.
I banged on the door. “Let me out!”
Silence met my cry.
I banged harder. “Paolo! Let me out of here. Open the door!”
Silence, and then a throat cleared.
“I’m sorry, Katarina, but you’re not to roam free in case you leave and get lost.”
“That’s not your decision to make, or your boss’s. It’s my decision to make. I get to choose!” I banged on the wood, my hand starting to hurt.
“I’m afraid I can’t.” His tone wasn’t that of someone who would change their mind. He’d locked me in on his master’s orders, and there was no escape. I was powerless. Voiceless. Controlled. Imprisoned.
“If you don’t, I’m going to make him regret this!” I warned Paolo.
“So be it.” His final response.
That motherfucker.I turned around and headed for a lamp right beside the door and kicked it over before I could overthink it. It fell with a hard crash and shattering of glass.
There were no sounds from beyond the door. I headed for thesideboard and the decanter and crystal glasses there, picking one up. I threw one against the wall and then another. A scream left me, unbidden and unstoppable.
I lost track of how long my anger and fear raged. Frustration filled me, so thick it choked me, fogging my thoughts. When I finally exhausted that fury, the room was a mess. Regret spread inside me. All the beautiful things in this painstakingly restored room hadn’t deserved to be smashed up. But then, I didn’t deserve to be locked up and have none of my questions answered. This shit was just things, and I was a person, not a possession.
After the anger passed, the tears came.
Endless tears. Rivers of salt. I made my way back to the bed and pressed my face into the pillow, crying and crying until it felt like my lungs might give out.
Somewhere in that torrent of feelings, I wore myself out. Sleep came on the heels of my exhaustion, and I thought no more.
33
MASSIMO
After I went by Filippa’s hospital to talk about Katarina’s results, I answered Giada’s call.