“No. I’m done. I’m retired. I haven’t gotten on the back of another horse since the accident.” Her hand moves to the scar on her forehead.
Andi
After we talk a little longer,I kiss him goodbye and head out of his office. His receptionist gives me a knowing look, but I don’t say anything. I know he hasn’t talked to Striker yet because I haven’t been confronted.
I head back to campus after realizing I forgot to check my mail, and my mom texted while I was having lunch with Callum. She said my counselor wants me to fill out some forms so I can transfer my care to the campus psychologist.
My mother and I talk at least once a week. I do love her a lot. I just don’t want what she wants for me anymore. She’s not even forty and raised my sister and me. Half my life she did it mostly by herself. She loves me for more than my riding, but I was livingher dream. She and my dad got pregnant with me before they were married. She was going for the championship that year, but missed it because of me.
I park and make my way to my building. I’m almost to the doors when I hear the catcall whistle.
“Woohoo! Look at those legs.”
I turn to see Lennox walking up. She’s either coming from the commons or the library. You can set Greenwich time by her, she’s that scheduled. She isn’t working in the admissions office this week because of spring break.
I preen and pose, showing a little more leg through the slit. “I know I’m a fine specimen.” I giggle, and she rushes up, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“What would I do without you?” She laughs, and I wrap an arm around her too.
“Be bored for the rest of your life.”
She scoffs. “You ain’t joking there.”
We step inside the building, and I head to the mailboxes with her following. She leans against the wall as I pull out my key and open my box. A few letters fall out, but a thick card envelope drops to the floor. It’s bright red, and I freeze. I’ve gotten one like this before, and I don’t want to open it. This right here is why I’m having nightmares again, why I need to talk to someone. I try to slip it into my bag to open later, but Lennox grabs it.
“What’s this? Is he sending you romantic cards now?”
“No. It’s nothing.”
I reach for it, but she pulls it back and rips it open. The first picture makes her to gasp, and the envelope falls as we both look down. Images of me liter the floor. Callum and me outside Striker and Lia’s house in the chair making love. Raine lying in the dirt, blood gushing from her hoof. Finally, a picture of me lying broken and bleeding, blood on my face.
“Oh my God,” she exclaims, bending down to pick them up.
I see the picture in her hand, and the tears don’t stop. Me, hanging halfway down Raine’s body, heading for her hooves. I can see the terror on my face as I realize I’m about to be trampled by my beloved horse. One arm is reaching up to cover my face, the other braced against my chest. A scream is caught on film as I know what’s about to happen.
I cry out, drop everything from arms, and press my hands to my face, making sure I’m still alive.
“Holy fuck.” Lennox jumps up and pulls me into her arms. “Why are you getting these?”
“I-I don’t know.” My hand flies to my mouth as nausea rises. “I’m going to be sick.” I rush from the building and lean over the rail, puking into the bushes.
The last one I got was just a note with one picture. The note said, “Some champion,” and the image was a black-and-white shot of me lying in the dirt.
Lennox wraps her arms around me. “We need to call someone?”
“No.” I pull up so fast my head spins. I wait until I’m not seeing double before adding, “I can handle this. It’s probably some fan.”
“A fan. A fucking fan.” Lennox’s voice rises, and I notice her clutching a piece of paper. I grab it from her hand and realize why she suggested we call someone.
You’ll never move on. I won’t let you forget until you are completely forgotten.
The words are cut out from magazines, and it’s signed by someone calling themselves Conscience in large, scrolling letters, all loopy.
“Okay, maybe we should.” I pull the picture of Callum and me from the batch and hold the rest as my watch beeps. “Shit. I have to go get Jude. I’ll call you later, once I figure out who to contact.”
Taking all my mail from her hands, I run back to my truck. For the first time in months, I feel disconcerted, like someone is watching me. The whole way to the private school, I nibble my lip, trying to figure out who to call, what to do. I don’t want to worry Lia and Striker. They have so much on their hands. If I tell my mom or Jon, they’ll make me come home. I don’t know anyone to call.
I start thinking about everything Lia just went through, and one name keeps floating through my head. I know who to call. I met her at the baby shower, and I remember her saying she’s in security.