It took me a while to get used to how she was always hugging and kissing Bethany on the cheek or hanging on their other friend Tatum. Maybe that had a little to do with the gay too. I did hear she dumped her boyfriend right before school got out, but I figured she was just ready for a new man. I have no idea why her mom is crying though or why the video is ten minutes long. I can’t commit that many brain cells to Mrs.Ford’s emotions. I swipe back over to the group chat.
Axel, why is Mrs.Ford on your FYP?
I follow her.
She gets so many brand deals. Makes shopping for the woman in your life a breeze.
Well good for Saylor and me I guess.
When the war against the straights breaks out we’ll need to get our numbers up.
Just know I’m down to spy for team gay any day of the week.
Appreciate it.
Axel sends back the little emoji guy doing the salute, and I’m glad I’ll always have his loyalty, even in fictional wars. I look up at the TV just as I hear the garage door open. I’ve been zoned out through a whole episode of my nuns and newborns drama. I’ll run it back later because I need to see the doctor and Nurse Glasses fall in love with each other again. Fergie and Di pop from their spots on the cool floor and trot over to the mudroom door.
“Oh look, it’s my puppies. And my princess!”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Looks like you’re all ready for dinner,” she said, looking at my new Carhartt khakis and my black crop T-shirt. I’m even wearing fresh socks. I’ve been really leaning into all-day jammies since school got out. Did I need to get ready like five hours early? No, but it gave me something to do before trying to get started on this big new professional lifeof mine. Too bad I didn’t make any progress on the assignment Miss Kelly gave me.
“Yeah, all ready to go.”
“Great. Dad’s outside talking to Mr.Howard. Did the girls go out?” she asks just as the door opens again.
“Whoa, hey. Everyone’s here!” Dad says as he walks into the room. He sets down his bag on one of the island stools before he kisses Mom on the cheek. “Princess Heaven?”
“Yes, Dr.Campbell.”
Dad tilts his head up and then throws me a huge bag of Starbursts. I hop up and snatch the bag out of the air as I hear Mom groan. “Warren,” she scolds.
“What? She said she was gonna use the wrappers to make some art. Who am I to stand in the way of art?!” Dad playfully shrieks.
“Heaven, please don’t eat those all at once,” Mom says.
“I was gonna wedge four or five between my teeth right before bed and let them do their magic.”
“Very funny. Are we still buying out the Olive Garden?” she asks.
“Hell yeah,” Dad says. “I gotta do a taste test. Also, I can’t do my bingo presentation in this dump.” He motions around our huge kitchen/living space, the center of this gorgeous house they definitely picked out together.
“Hmmm, yes. This very hideous home,” Mom says, rolling her eyes before a hopeful grin spreads out over her face. “You gonna drive tonight?” she asks me.
“Yeah, I can.”
“Lewis Hamilton Jr. here can’t wait to get back behindthe wheel,” Dad jokes. Along with my artistic skills, I’m a really good driver. Both of my parents are giddy over the fact that I can drive them around now.
•••
Almost an hour later, we’re sitting in a booth in what my dad calls the fancy Olive Garden. The new construction looks more like a botanical garden with its glass walls and high columns. There’s an Olive Garden in the mall right near our house, but my dad is obsessed with this newer location. We order our food, three entrées for my dad since he has some real scientific research to do, and then he pulls out his tablet.
Clearing his throat, he makes a show of looking at Mom, then me, and back to Mom again.
“Dr.Goo. Daughter Goo-Campbell.”
“Warren,” Mom replies.