I hop out of the short line for the half-pipe and skate over to one of the empty benches in the shade. I flop down and ignore the way my dad is looking at me from across the park. He’s standing there on his roller skates talking to Mr.Diaz, who’s twirling his own board on the tip of his Converse. I have maybe five minutes before Dad skates over to see if I’m okay. Jake’s little sister gives me a whole five seconds. Esther skates right over, her bright green hair blowing in the wind before she skids to stop and drops down beside me. I move a little to give her some room.
“Whatcha doing?” Esther huffs.
“Nothing. Just thinking deep thoughts.” This twelve-year-old doesn’t need to know about my turbulent emotional state.
She fixes a deep scowl on her face and leans back. “I’lljoin you. I have so many deep thoughts.” Not many people make me laugh, but she does. Esther is such a little pain in the ass. I love her.
“Yeah, what are your middle school deep thoughts?” I ask her.
“Mostly, am I ever gonna need a bra?” She looks down at her flat chest.
“Yeah, I can’t really help you there.” My barely B cups betray me every day.
“You wanna see my new favorite thing?” she asks.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Gimme your phone.”
“No, but you can tell me where to go.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and unlock my screen.
“Okay, go to Instagram and search for the Cincinnati Zoo. They have a new baby hippo and it’s cute as heck.”
I bite my lip and try not to laugh. Esther got in trouble like four times this year for swearing. I open IG and try not to think about how I never have any notifications. How I can’t even bring myself to post anything interesting for my whole twenty followers. I search for the zoo and find the last video they posted. I hold my phone so Esther can see it too. A cute as heck baby hippo bobs up and down under the water.
“Okay, that is cute,” I tell her.
“They post him like four times a day. I can’t get enough. I wish my parents would get me a baby hippo.”
“Yeah, I think they grow up into adult hippos.” I scroll to the next video where the zookeepers are introducing the cute “little” baby to its gigantic hippo father through afence. Dad hippo looks like he could take out an SUV with ease. I tilt the phone back toward Esther. “Imagine that guy sitting on your couch.”
“I still wanna pet one.”
I look up as Jake skates over. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and nods at his sister.
“Hey, E. Scram.”
“You scram,” Esther growls back, and I have to laugh a little.
“For real. I gotta talk to Heaven for a sec. I’m gonna be gushing about how much I love Bethany.”
“Eww, gross.” Esther hops up and skates back to the other side of the park. I shove my phone back in my pocket and look out over the parking lot.
“Bethany send you some love letters from culinary school?” I ask, trying not to sound too grossed out myself. They really are a sweet couple, but I am totally not in the mood to think about relationships or love or even low-grade crushes that I don’t understand.
“We aren’t writing each other letters, but maybe we should. You aight? You’ve been kind of out of it since we got here.”
I think for a second, wanting to tell Jake the truth. But something changed yesterday. I’m not sure what it is, and at the same time, I know I’m lying to myself because I don’t want to face the truth. I don’tlikelike Saylor. I’d say we’re more business partners or at least partners in lies at this point, but I really cannot stop thinking about her and I don’t know what that means.
“Oh nothing. I—I uh ran into Saylor yesterday and…” I shake myself like my body needs to reconnect with this current reality. “We’re going to do my summer bingo thing together, since she broke her arm.”
“Oh yeah. Your dad was just bragging about his genius.”
“Of course he was.”
“You regretting it already?” Jake asks, chuckling a little.
“Regretting what?”