“You did.”
“Also, it’s not true that you weren’t there for me. From what I wrote in my diary, you were there for me a lot. There was something about you ditching school with me after my family-tree project.”
“Shit, I remember that,” Zach said with a chuckle. “Mr. Archuleta was a dick. You straight-up told him that you didn’t want to do it because it hurt too much to talk about your parents, and he told you to build a bridge and get over it. He threatened to give you an F if you didn’t turn it in.”
“Well, apparently I did my presentation and then you stayed with me after.”
“We sat in my truck and sang along with that god-awful ‘My Humps’ song on repeat until you started laughing. I still hate the song,” Zach said.
“I’ve tried to think about what might have been going through my mind the night we had our . . . falling out.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, each time I just end up pissed that I can’t remember anything. And then I remind myself that all I can focus on is now and the future. I had fights with Delfi and Britnay too and we grew apart, but there doesn’t seem to be any bad blood there. I want to move forward. I have too many things to think about, so much stuff that I can’t spend energy I don’t have, so you don’t have to apologize anymore. Not for this.”
“Okay, okay. I hear you. Come here.” Evie made room for Zach to move and then she was back in his arms, her head resting on his wonderfully sculpted chest. The TV was still on, but Zach had muted it. Some old black-and-white TV show played on the screen. “What’s stressing you out?” Zach asked. “Tell me.”
“I’ve been watching myself, on television, and I don’t like what I see.”
“What do you mean?”
“We watchedSupreme Chefand obviously it was good that I won because it helped my career, but something about it just made me feel awful. Like it had nothing to do with actual cooking or being an actual chef.”
“Yeah, that’s kinda the point of those shows. It’s the competition and the manufactured drama. Not the food.”
“Yeah, that’s what Jesse told me. And then I was thinking about how I met that unhinged woman Melanie on that show. Obviously I can’t contact her and ask her what happened between us, but it still isn’t sitting well with me. When I watched myself onThe Dish, I thought I would feel—what’s the word I’m looking for?Determined, maybe? Orinspired.”
“Yeah?”
“I felt like seeing myself onThe Dishwould give me a good reference point. It would show me what I need to get back to and how much or how little will be asked of me. I also thought it would help me understand how I made the transition fromSupreme Chefto cohosting a show.”
“And what happened instead?” Zach asked.
“I was disappointed in myself. I was thinking about all the hard work I must have put in, and even all the work I’ve put in since I was released from the hospital. Does all that work lead me back to a show where I’m not even really cooking? I—I don’t know if I want to go back.” Evie closed her eyes, sudden relief washing over her. It felt good to admit the doubts she was having out loud. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.”
“I don’t know enough yet to make any decisions, and for as long as I can, I do want to at least try to hold on to my job atThe Dish, but this feeling, it’s just—it’s giving me a lot to think about.”
“Listen, I’m here, if you just want to bounce around ideas, if you just need a sounding board. If you realize you want something else andThe Dishain’t it, Miss Leona or Jesse and I, we can all help you. We’re with you, whatever you decide. I’m sure Nicole will have your back too.”
“I know. Thank you.”
On the screen a man and woman were having an animated conversation. “What show is this?”
“It’s calledI Love Lucy.”
“Hmm.”
“Evie.” She looked up at the strange sound in his voice. It made her stomach turn. This bubble they’d created for themselves was about to pop. “Listen, I have to tell you something about Melanie Burns.”
“What is it? You didn’t sleep with her too, did you?”
“No.” Zach laughed. “I’ve never met the woman. Nicole thinks that Melanie may have had something to do with your accident.” Zach paused, and his face contorted a bit before he went on like he was choosing his words very carefully. “She thinks you might have been pushed, but she can’t prove it. She—we didn’t want to tell you because we didn’t want to double down on your stress level on a hunch.”
“Oh.” Evie thought, pointlessly trying to dig up any memories from that night. She had no memory of Melanie, but considering the way she’d acted on the show and the messages she’d written in Evie’s DMs, she wouldn’t be surprised if things between them had escalated and gotten physical. It would explain the tone of her messages too. Maybe Melanie really wanted Evie dead, or at least out of the way. Evie sat up and turned to face Zach.
“She doesn’t know I’m here, right?”