“Yeah. Fine.” I feel like I shouldn’t know him well enough to call him on his evasive bullshit, but I do know his twin brother very well and I know exactly when Scott is lying. Silas lies in the exact same way. He refuses to make eye contact with me and starts moving things around. He picks up a book and then a tattered spiral notebook and a small crucifix on a chain that looks like it’s at least forty years old. He’s definitely lying, but I don’t push for the truth. I’m not in the mood to have an honest chatmyself.
He holds the Target bag up and passes it tome.
“I got you a raincoat and someboots.”
“How’d you know my shoesize?”
“It’s on the bottom of your shoes,” he says, that DUH hanging off the end again. I do feel stupid this time. That was some pretty obvious and basic problem solving rightthere.
“Maya and Ginny want you to come hang out with them in the Cannery. If you’re not busy. They told me it’s not fair to keep you cooped up in here all day. They’reright.”
“Uh, yeah. I’d like that. Are you in a hurry? I have to shower.” There’s traces of our sex on my thighsstill.
“No. I wanted to check on the dogs and change my shirt. Take your time,” he says. He still won’t look at me. And then he leaves the room without another word. Maybe he’ll change his shirt while I’m in theshower.
Ten
Silas
Ishould waitfor Ebie in the truck, but I wait in the hallway. She needs to leave. I haven’t slept a full night since she showed up. I’m fucking tired and when I get tired like this I fuck up. I’ve already dropped a crate of peaches this morning and I accidentally stepped on Emma, our alpaca’s toes, while I was trying to get her back in her pen. I know she needs somewhere to stay. That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want herhere.
I look down at Joe Namath and Morty crowded around my feet and I know that’s a lie. I want her here and that’s the problem. I like having her here. There are two reasons to keep busy: ’cause you have a lot of shit to do and because you don’t want to be alone. I’ve been alone for a long time and now that she’s here, I see how much I really hateit.
Scott’s the real problem. I think Ebie hates me, but for some reason she also seems to get me. After last night I think she gets me more than most people. In the short time she’s been here, she’s tried harder than most people to understand me. I still can’t get beyond her connection to my worthless brother. I hate that he brought her into my life to fuck up my schedule and give me a mouth to feed and someone toprotect.
And I hate that he got to know her first. I hate that he knows more about her than I do and I really hate knowing that if she hadn’t found herself in this shitty situation, I never would have met her. I hate even more that I have to keep whatever is happening between us a secret. My mind stops the shittiest thoughts in their tracks. Thoughts I know I shouldn’t have, because it’s not about getting even with my brother. It’s about the way she makes me feel. And like always, there’s not shit I can do aboutit.
I look up when I hear my bedroom door open. I want to tell her how beautiful she is. She looks like a model in the new rainboots and raincoat she’s wearing. She looks like a model all the time. Next time we’re alone in my bed, I want to take more time touching her hair, kissing her face. Yeah, but there shouldn’t be a next time, I have to remind myself. Therewon’tbe a nexttime.
“Everything fits. Thanks,” she says as she reaches down and scratches Joe Namath on thehead.
“Good. Youready?”
She straightens up and puts her hands on her hips. “Listen. Are you pissed at me orsomething?”
“No. Just didn’t sleep well last night. I’ve been dropping the ball allmorning.”
“Oh. I’m sorry,” she says, and then she cracks this little smile that’s sexy as fuck. I’m not looking directly at her, but I can see it out of the corner of my eye. Her eyes are like a truth serum and I don’t want to tell her how late I stayed up looking at her face while she curled up against my chest. “You want to skip the movies tonight then? So you can sleep? I could probably use some more sleeptoo.”
“No!” I say a little too quickly. We make eye contact, and I immediately look away. “No. I really like to get off of the farm at least once a week and three trips to Target don’t count. Besides, I force myself to take Sundays off for this exact reason. I need toreset.”
“Okay…” she says, like she’s afraid to make any sudden moves around me. I think about grabbing her and kissing her again, but that will probably make things harder when I get up the strength to tell her we won’t be having sexagain.
“Let’s go.” I head out the front door and hold the screen open for her to duck under my arm, then quickly move it when I remember she’s taller than most women around here. I need some fucking sleep. I need her to leave. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Excuse me.” She squeezes by me and pulls the front door shut behind her. I let the screen slam shut and march off to the truck. I almost don’t open the passenger door for her, but I rethink that, walk over and open it so she can climbinside.
I think she wants to talk as I drive her over to the cafe, but I’m not in the mood. So I fill the silence with useless information about thefarm.
“The cafe and the mercantile are still open when it rains, so we still do okaybusiness.”
“Yeah, you mentioned that,” she says, her tone light, like she’s trying to be gentle with me. It won’twork.
“If it clears up tomorrow, Mason will come out at sunset and play thebagpipes.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Wait here.” I slam my truck into park and climb out before she can say anything else or ask questions. I run inside and grab the breakfast burrito and hot chocolate I ordered for her from Shelby, who has it waiting for me at the hostess stand. My acceptance of Ebie’s thanks when I hand the stuff to her is more like a grunt than an actual “You’rewelcome.”