“Sure. Let’s go.” He picks up his camera and I take it from him so he can grab Titus’s leash. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing until I’m halfway down the trail. Shep is right behind me and every few feet Titus bumps into my side. He thinks this is a game. That’s fine. We can race back to the house. I start running. Shep calls my name but I don’t stop. It’s light enough. I can see. I can see fine. I know where I’m going and these new boots are easy to run in too. My feet hurt like hell, but it’s easy. I just keep my eyes on the break in the trees in front of me. I know exactly where I’m going.
I’m sweating by the time I reach Shep’s property. It feels good to run, I realize. I stomp to a stop, my arms flailing, my feet hitting the ground like I’ve just crossed the finish line on a track.
“Hey!” he says behind me, but I ignore him ’cause my phone is going crazy.
“Hold on. One sec.” I pull it out of my pocket. He really should lock his wifi. You get full bars in his yard. There’s a bunch of texts from Liz and some voicemails.
Idk if you’re up, but call me!
IS THERE SERVICE UP THERE?
I hit the phone icon next to her name and she picks up after the second ring. “Oh thank god!”
“Is everything okay?” I look up at Shep and he’s frowning at me, but he doesn’t push. He nods toward the house and I follow him and Titus up the front steps.
“Oh my god, sorry. Everything’s fine. You will never guess who I ran into.”
“Who?”
“Vivianne Coolidge.”
“From Mode?” She’d been stuck at a table with Liz and I at a gala two New Year’s Eves ago. She hated me, but she and Liz had become instant friends.
“Girl, yes! She asked about you. She didn’t know you’d left Kleinman’s.”
“What did she want?”
“You! She wants you to come to work for her at Mode.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I know I need to go back to work in a few months, but I haven’t started looking and I hadn’t even considered sending my resume to Mode.
“I gave her your number and she said she was going to call you as soon as she gets to her office. She wants to talk to you like—” My phone beeps and I look at the screen. It’s a 212 area code.
“Shit that could be her.”
“Go!”
I don’t even say bye before I click over and let out an oddly confident hello. This woman could make or break my career.
“Claudia, love. It’s Vivianne Coolidge. I just ran into Elizabeth.” I sink down on Shep’s couch and listen as she basically tells me she’s delighted that I’m not dead and no longer working for Kleinman’s and how they want my impeccable taste for their editorial department. She throws out a number that would get me out of my tiny loft and into something with a park view instead of the view of my fire escape and two different brick walls.
I tell her I’m in Northern California. I’m on vacation. She tells me she’ll pick up the check for my red eye if I’ll just promise to be sitting across from her desk in the morning to discuss details. The winter shows are just around the corner and they need me now. I realize that I’m hesitating. I say yes. She transfers me to her assistant. I give her my information, and she’s going to book me a flight.
“Everything cool?” Shep nods toward my phone once I hang up. I’m still gripping it in my hand.
“Uh—yeah. Everything’s fine.”
“Good.” He comes and sits on the coffee table opposite me. I peel off my coat. I didn’t notice how much I was sweating until now. “Can we talk about what just happened back there?” He takes my chin in his hand and tilts my head up.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking at your pupils.”
I shake free. My mind is racing, but I’m okay. “I’m fine,” I tell him. I let out a deep breath and suck another back in. Again. “I’m sorry. I had another panic attack back there. I shouldn’t have run off like that. I can’t—I can’t explain it. I just freaked out.”
“I figured it was something like that. Listen we can spend the rest of the week in the house. I can call my bosses and tell them I need to forego a few days. I’ve sent them thousands of images.”
“No—no. I don’t want you to fuck up your project because of me. It’s fine. I just—” I realize again what I’m saying. “I—Shep, I have to leave.”